Monthly Archives: December 2015

Invitation To The Tory Party

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04 Oct 2015, Manchester, Greater Manchester, England, UK --- Manchester, United Kingdom. 4th October 2015 -- A Conservative party delegate is egged during the march. -- A young conservative party member is egged during the TUC lead anti-austerity demonstration where 100,000 march through Manchester city centre against government austerity plans as the Conservative party conference opens. --- Image by © Christopher Middleton/Demotix/Corbis

04 Oct 2015, Manchester, Greater Manchester, England, UK — Manchester, United Kingdom. 4th October 2015 — A Conservative party delegate is egged during the march. — A young conservative party member is egged during the TUC lead anti-austerity demonstration where 100,000 march through Manchester city centre against government austerity plans as the Conservative party conference opens. — Image by © Christopher Middleton/Demotix/Corbis

The invitation got lost in the post

To the Tory party, swine of a host!

Invitation to the Tory party

the sort you’d thank the postman for losin’

Invitation to the Tory party, William Hague, poison dwarf, always boozin’

Invitation to the Tory party ….Busy bursting balloons

Much for fun than entertaining those priviliged goons

Invitation to the Tory party….If it finds it’s way….

to your doormat rip it up without delay

Invitation to the Tory party

They’d love you to join in and get hearty

But it doesn’t pay to mix with criminals

Bull********, f****** useless w****** or the just plain evil

Invitation to the Tory party….The bin’s the place for that

And the next time you see the postman have a friendly chat

Invitation to the Tory party ….Overrated

In fact if i received one i’d be devestated…..

 

Even If I Was A Lesbian I Wouldn’t Want To Suffer K.D Lang

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Buying K.d Lang’s “Ingenue” my single biggest regret

I  wonder K.D, did Martina serve up a good omelette

“Constant craving” and “Miss Chateleine”

By far away the best songs she wrote

But apart from that collaboration with Tony Bennet….

what has she done of note

K.D Lang is not an awful person but her music sends me to sleep

The best thing you can do with half her albums is cast nthem into the ocean, deep

And resembling  a young Elvis Presley

Is not a recommendation, believe me

Popular with the “Diesel Dykes” of Montreal

In Canada i’m sure K.D Lang walks tall

K.D Lang’s influence on the easy listening scene you can’t ignore

Even if like me, you find her songs a dreadful bore

I find it rather puzzling…..What does the K.D stand for?

“Wash Me Clean” ,”Still Thrives This love”…….

“Season Of Hollow Soul”, “Tears Of Love” she sang

To be lost in “The Rockies” in sub zero would be bad enough

without suffering K.D Lang

If your car broke down in 12 inches of deep Canadian snow

You would be crying out “Save Me”

Then along comes a truck to tow….

you away to a garage near a grocers shop in town

A lemonade then on your way, cause K.D Lang will drag you down

And you wouldn’t want Neil Young on your car radio or Celine Dion

K.D Lang a role model for 20 something “Lipstick lesbians”

K.D Lang, K.D lang

“Mind Of  Love” she sang

If i’m ever in a kayak, shooting the rapids one cool afternoon

Or in “Medicine hat” how about that….I won’t be humming a K.D Lang tune

LIke Francis Rossi, “Gooners” and cricket fans, K.D Lang has charisma i’m sure

But no offence, if i met her in Calgary, Winnipeg or Moosejaw

I’d just want to have a chat

And leave it at that

Not a f****** encore

K.D Lang karaoke,  “Please no more!”…..

 

The Beiderbeck Affair

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James Bolam in the Beiderbeck Affair

A must for Jazz lovers everywhere

Classic comedy….

drama on ITV

Barbara flynn who delivered the milk in “Open all Hours”

If i met up with her i’d give her a bunch of flowers

And a Jazz c.d in return for a photograph

I’m sure she would be up for a laugh

and a joke

As for James Bolam he’s a likely lad

The Beiderbeck tapes return would make me glad

You can’t beat jazz

“Fever” not razzmatazz

Exidor

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The nutter in white robe and sandals who adored Mork

A bit manic was Exidor boy, he could talk

He fancied MIndy she wasn’t too keen on him

I saw the guy as a survivor not a victim

Exidor, loveable Exidor

With all that charisma…not a bore

Exidor and Mork they formed a special bond

I have to say of Exidor, i am extremely fond….

Johnny English 1+2

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Natalie Imbruglia’s character teaching Johnny

an acquired skill…the correct way to eat sushi

Agent Bough got  a nose bleed

Johnny English bound to succeed

Johnny English hasty retreat to a Buddhist monastry

After the tragic incident with the African President ended in catastrophe

But Johnny and his trusty young colleague will no doubt save the day

M.I.5 agents don’t want orange squash black momma…It’s not child’s play…….

Saving the world from a perilous fate at the hands of a  dangerous mole

AS for Pascal Sauvage in johnny English 1 ..Rotten was his soul

 

If You Think Deptford’s Bad…The Elephant’s Just Sad!

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Deptford is full of hard nut yobs

Racist, queer bashing, beer swilling slobs

However if you think Deptford’s bad a short bus ride and you’re in for a shock

For Elephant and Castle is just a carbuncle of  a shopping arcade and Tower blocks

I was born in South London….

But that’s a dangerous part of town

And i can’t afford Greenwich

And certainly not Dulwich

Maybe just south of Rotherhithe

Where the Norwegians do thrive

To revisit the place of my birth Clapham, i would be glad

But if you think Deptford’s awful, The Elephant’s just sad…