Monthly Archives: February 2015

why I Don’t Eat Meat! ++(non rhyming poem)

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pigs
animals are my friends
I wouldn’t eat Graham,the Man U fan
Jartua from sierra Leone
Or Aziz the morrocan cafe owner
Therefore i am not eating a cow, lamb or pig e.t.c

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She Excites Me

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she excites me
She excites me
She delights me
She is tantalizing
Thrills me without realizing
She ignites in me a flame
I even love the sound of her name
She excites me
She delights me
She drives me wild with desire
Her love lifts me higher and higher
She is beautiful.She is kind
I love her body.I love her mind
She is so complex
I don’t just want her sex
But she excites me, you know she does
In t-shirt and tight jeans on the bus
Or bikini clad on the beach
She excites me and she’s within reach
She excites me
She delights me
She is stunning like a renaissance masterpiece
And i don’t ever want her honest lovin’ to cease
She captivates me
And fascinates me
She excites me
She delights me
She excites me
She excites me….

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

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changes
Changes for the sake of it
Or changes purely for profit
Either way it really is b*******!
How can they justify calling “Marathon” bars “Snickers”
That is totally absurd…It sounds like knickers!
And while we’re at it, let’s get back….
To calling “Starburst”,”Opal Fruits”, Jack
And “The Champions League”, “The European cup”
And “The Europa League”, “The U.E.F.A cup”
We mustn’t forget to mention
The 1st, 2nd, 5rd and 4th divisions
David Bowie wasn’t frightened of change
But i do find this new direction we’re all takin’ strange
So, Up Yours! Football bureaucrats, Rupert Murdoch and “Uncle Sam”
Cause for all this corporate fuelled revolution, i don’t give a damn!

Mister Spock( a.k.a Leonard Nimoy + Canada’s finest)

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spock
Leonard Nimoy: That stalwart of the “StarTrek” franchise, died yesterday
Just like “Scotty” and “Bones” before him, he leaves behind a legacy
He was 83.A good innings for one…
Who was in fact, half vulcan
“Logical, Captain” that was his catchphrase
His emotions never got in the way
He didn’t even notice “Uhuru’s” legs…Too busy with his telescope !
“The Wrath Of Khan”, “The Search For Spock”…..The pointed eared one gave us all hope
For, in “Warp Factor 9”, when battlin’ the “Klingons”
Spock, Kirk and co. would have us glued to our televisions
Spock was depedable, reliable and brave
Many a time, the crew of the “Enterprise”, he’d save
“Beam you up, Spock !”

25 Reasons David Cameron Is Boring (non rhyming poem)

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david cameron
1) He probably fantasises about his wife………and his wife is sam cam!
2) his 2nd home is probably in Bournemouth
3) his 1st home is probably St.John’s wood
4) he never tells funny jokes or farts in the house of Commons
5) even his wardrobe is dull.Full of Saville row suits
6) he wouldn’t be seen dead in combat trousers
7) he doesn’t wear funny t-shirts or football shirts either
8) he definitely wouldn’t watch Ice Hockey or Bruce Lee movies
9) his speeches are boring
10) his heroes are the Queen, Maggie Thatcher and Churchill
11) he would never listen to Heavy Metal in a million years
12) he is a creative dead fish
13) if he went back in time he would probably want to meet Disraeli
14) he actually wants a peerage!
15) he wants to turn London into a gentrified “Millionaires Ghetto” + devoid of Big Issue vendors and Graffiti art…If you don’t believe that read the Tory Manifesto (Then burn it in front of one!)
16) he pretends he hates UKIP when really he’d love nothing better than to jump into bed with Nigel Farage!
17) he’s never been arrested
18) if he wasn’t prime minister he would probably be an accountant or a Banker
19) he doesn’t read Viz
20) he hates the North
21) He’s never had a psychotic episode or a nervous breakdown
22) He’s never been anywhere interesting (ie. The Basque country or Old Trafford)
23) he wants everyone to vote Tory (Yawn!)
24) he probably wears silk Marks and Spencer pyjammas to bed
25) if you were stuck in a lift with him you would either turn to drink, suicide or murder!