Monthly Archives: July 2015

Test Tube Babies

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test tube baby
i’d quite like to have been a test tube baby
It sure beats being a mad dog with rabies!
Being a test tube baby would be fun
Created in some lab
Make the front page of The Guardian
In fact it would be fab
Test tube baby
Test tube baby
Groundbreaking
and radical maybe
Pushing back the very frontiers of Science
Like a probe to Mars, fancy household appliance
Being a test tube baby would’ve been so cool
Stand out from all the f****** plebs at school
Parents day would’ve been great as well
Some sexy lab assistant, swell!
Test tube baby…

The Only Language These Scum Understand…..

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stylish violence
Steve was vulnerable he lived in the east end
So he bought a sledge hammer it was his only friend
One day when some w***** banged on his door
He waved it in his face, gave him what for
The next day he was walking down a rain soaked street
Some asians threatened him he beat a hasty retreat
They followed him up a dark alleyway
Led him into a trap
With the same sledge hammer he made them pay
Broke the gang leaders kneecap
Now some might think that Steve is insane
But after that no one bothered him again…

St.Pauli

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st.pauli
St.Pauli Pirates the only football stadium
near a Red light district
And a giant knot
In their floodlight i kid you not
They’ve known good times, brushed shoulders with the elite
Now they sit proudly off Some Reeperbahn street
I wonder if the “Working girls” go there
Or maybe for fussball, they don’t really care
The Beatles went to Hamburg many years ago
I’d love to take in a game at their second team’s home, so
St.Pauli Pirates hoist the black flag
Dig their Partizan fans at least they’re not a drag
Unlike that sad Bayern Munich lot
Or Chelsea fans who’ve really lost the plot
St.Pauli Pirates, bet your club shop’s a treasure
Supporting St.Pauli must be a pleasure
St.Pauli Pirates, Skull and Cross bones
To be a Pirate is not to sail alone
For Pirates, they have many friends
The joy of following St.Pauli never ends
St.Pauli…

Nicole Grimaudo

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nicole grimaudo
Nicole Grimaudo, Italian seductress, star of “Loose Cannons”
We move in different circles me and you, so sadly, bedding you will never happen
But i can always dream
Nicole you reign supreme
Queen of World cinema
Your looks and talent will take you far
Loved the scene where against a cheating lover’s car, you did scrape your key
And you did look sensational in that lime green bikini
Nicole Grimaudo to seduce you, is every boy or Lesbian’s wish
Nicole Grimaudo every bit as tasty as a pasta dish
Nicole Grimaudo you are groovy
The whole world awaits your next movie
I’m sure it will be a classic, Nicole
For you bring such passion to every role…you play
Embodiment of desire, long before you retire, awards will come flooding your way
Nicole Grimaudo you dress to impress
But what is the shelf life of an average actress
I wouldn’t mind betting you’ll be lighting up the silver screen for years, ‘though
So enjoy your time in the spotlight while it lasts , Nicole Grimaudo
Nicole Grimaudo….

KIssing In Europe

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banksy's snogging bobbies
Kissing his girlfriend in the rain
Next to a monument in Spain
Kissing near The Brandenburg gate
Necking in Glasgow on a first date
Kissing some “hunk” so f****** pretty
In some elegant European city
Or even a somewhat bland one
Kissing in Paris’s Left bank would be fun
Kissing in Prague, snogging in Lisbon
Seizing the moment, passion in Sweden
Kissing by a canal in Amsterdam
Kissing with people watching, you don’t give a damn
Kissing in Sarajevo
She blew his mind, so
Kissing in Grand place, Kissing in Warsaw
By communist Grafitti, kissing ’til your lips are sore
Kissing in a Lyon hotel
with a stunning mademoiselle
Kissing in Dublin, kissing in Galway
Or in Bilbao in some Retro cafe
Kissing in The Reeperbahn, man, she is hot!
Kissing in Europe sure taught Dave a lot
An experience to linger in the memory a while
Kissing with confidence, kissing in style…
On some dim lit street in Milan
Of Kissing in Italy, Deborah’s a fan
Kissing after a 2 nil home win at The Nou Camp
Maria kissing Heidi then she stopped to kiss a tramp
While planting in his pocket some money
Kissing in Oslo in the snow or Rome when it’s sunny
Kissing at dawn in Trafalgar square
A pigeon, flying above shit in her hair
She’s too much in love to care
Kissing in bus shelters, kissing everywhere
Kissing in Manchester under an umbrella
Really so very glad that he’s her fella
2 men kissing on a nudist beach in Brighton
Mike kissing Sonia in a dark Jazz bar, with the light on…
Off some splendid Avenue in downtown Madrid
Kissing a waiter on a Gondola in Venice, Kate did
Kissing in Helsinki on some ordinary street
Yes, Kissing in Europe really can’t be beat