Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Show Must Go On

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Britain's Prime Minister Theresa May leads her first cabinet meeting of the new year following a reshuffle at 10 Downing Street, London

Teresa May is busy let’s not forget…

Reshuffling her cabinet.

Teresa May do you have any regrets

as you promote a few more muppets!

Teresa May…the papers will have their say.

I’d rather distance myself from it all anyway.

Teresa May is once again headline news.

And that’s the life the attention seeker does chose.

I find it so f****** boring.

If it wasn’t for all the caffeine i’ve drunk i would be snoring.

Teresa May,  Teresa May

basking in the spotlight, say.

Teresa May, Teresa May

I wish you and your cronies would just go away.

Teresa May, Teresa May

that’s really all that i have to say.

 

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A Job In Retail

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I think I would rather face a year in jail.

Than work a single week in retail.

The hours are long.The pay ‘aint great.

A job in retail is to suffocate.

I think I would end up rather weak and pale.

If I had to toil away my days in retail.

The hours are long.The pay it ‘aint great.

and it’s hard to see how shop work could stimulate.

To work in retail…

to me, is to fail….

My heart goes out

to the shop worker…..no doubt….

you could do better.

Maybe one day your boat will come in

Yes, you could do better

One day your boat will come in

and you’ll never have to return to those dark days of retail again.

 

Pigalle Passion

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Marie-Claire worked in an Erotic book shop.

One day Sylvie strolled in and her jaw it did drop.

Sylvie had a pretty impressive physique.

She’d just broken up with her girlfriend Monique.

Soon she was slipping her phone number to Marie-Claire.

The 2 of them french kissing in the Pigalle night air.

Then off they sped

on Sylvie’s moped.

To Marie-Claire’s apartment 3 streets away.

Sylvie slapped Marie-Claire’s ass in the hallway.

Marie-Claire said “I think it’s only fair….

If we watch this steamy lesbo d.v.d in our underwear”

” Sylvie won’t you relax with me and a box of popcorn and a beer”

Marie-Claire run her fingers through Sylvie’s hair and panted “It’s fun being queer”

As the 2 characters on screen screamed orgasmically.

Sylvie confessed her last fling ended quite tragically.

“Monique had a stunning body like you Marie-Claire”

“When i met her in a gay bar she was working as an au pair”

“It was great for a while….I loved her sense of style”

“and i have to say every so often she made me smile”

“But it was her excessive drinking binges that did for us in the end”

“I saw her in hospital it was sad. for she was a lover and a friend…”

“She was lying there pale and weak, practically at death’s door”

“.I left the ward sobbing. i couldn’t take it anymore”.

“6 months later i needed to take my mind off her.”

“As i heard the deadly sclerosis had taken her liver”

“So i was walking in the rain through Pigalle and came across your shop”

“I was on my way home from the Supermarche it was a routine stop”

“So glad you popped in hon….sorry for your loss”

Then seductively Marie-Claire, her long mane she did toss.

The movie ended ” I’ll give it 8 out of 10 Marie-Claire”

“The performances were great Sylvie but for the ending i don’t care”

Soon these 2 newly found lovers

were getting hot and steamy themselves under the covers

“People think Sylvie that i must be rather kinky cause i work in an

Erotica shop in Pigalle”

“But i’m not really.I just love the female form, you see .and i have to say you’re my kinda gal”

“Looking around your bedroom Marie-Claire.I have to say a quite tasteful decor”

“The prints of Modigliani’s nudes are beautiful.I really adore”

Sylvie and Marie Claire

Travelled everywhere.

From colourful Sanfrancisco to Tokyo to Rome.

But it was Marie-Claire’s Pigalle apartment that to them was home…finis

 

A Break From Poetry (Jokes)

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He thought he was important

in fact he was impotent!!

The submarine making firm went under….

The painting and decorating firm went to the wall.

(O.k the last 2 were xmas cracker standard it gets better)

One man to his wife “Your snoring in bed is driving me mad”

Wife “Well your farting in bed is driving me to drink!”

One man jumps into the Mersey….

Another scouser comes running by and shouts out to him “hey can i have your job!?”

Marriage is not a word it’s a sentence!

Man to his rather simple friend “What’s the difference between an elephant’s ass and a post box?”

“Dunno”. “Well in that case i’d better post this parcel myself”

One man in a dirty raincoat flashed at 2 nuns

One nun had a stroke… the other couldn’t reach!