Monthly Archives: September 2011

The Day Oslo Died


The day Oslo died
The day Oslo cried
The day Oslo was unified…
on the streets in a march against evil
and as for that monster Breivik, may he burn in hell!
The day Oslo died on TV
all over the world we feel their misery
and share in their sorrow
They need hope for tomorrow
The day Oslo died…
The torment felt inside
this proud nation
Such devastation
The victims’ faces in the paper
Those images stay with us forever
Such wicked acts must cease
Light a candle for peace
The day Oslo died
The day Oslo cried.

5 Blokes in a Pub


5 blokes in “The White Swan” pub in London’s East End
The topic of conversation: The world’s hottest blondes
Clive said “Britt Eklund” in “The Man With The Golden Gun”
Phillipe, the Belgian, said “Deborah Francois – star of The Page Turner”
Dave said, “I was gobsmacked when I saw Shakira on the Oral Fixation cover”
Mike said, “Scarlett Johansson in Vicky Cristina Barcelona”
Finally, it was Tony’s turn: “Smurfette”
At which point his 4 mates said, “We’ll drink to that!

Virginie Ledoyen


Virginie Ledoyen
You really turn me on
Virginie Ledoyen…you are a star
Classic charm,like a “Jaguar”
Virginie Ledoyen, Virginie Ledoyen
I like you naked…or with your clothes on
Virginie Ledoyen, Virginie Ledoyen
I’d love to hear you sing “Chanson”
Virginie Ledoyen, for you, I really do care
I’d love you in T-shirt and jeans, with dirt in your hair
“Late August, Early September”
Is the one film of yours, I remember
Virginie Ledoyen
You really turn me on
You are a “Femme Fatale”
and your style is so natural
Virginie Ledoyen, I think you are groovy
and I really look forward to your next movie
I think it will be a classic
‘Cause Virginie, you are magic!

One Man’s Struggle


You were only 10 when the Russian tanks entered Budapest
Now you help run your brother’s newsagent…you blocked out the rest
by drinkin’ your fill
of alcohol
and buryin’ yourself in your work
Some nights you have bad flashbacks
and your plans for the business get knocked back…by the bank
One man’s struggle, one man’s strife
Somethings he can’t even tell his young wife
One man’s struggle…

Is Belgium Really So Bad?


When I was young, I thought Belgium is boring…and why go there anyway?
Unless you want to stand next to cows or photograph monuments all day!
But I have to say, the chocolate shops of Brussels made me glad
So I have to ask, “Is Belgium really so very bad?”
They say that “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”
So in Antwerp, they must be really clever
And in Belgium’s defence, I have to say, nowhere there
will you meet someone called Trevor!
To vist Belgium is a chance not to miss
To live in Belgium, sheer bliss
then clear off round the corner to The Jaque Brel museum
And all that beer, easy to be sincere about Belgium
I love Belgium so much one day i went home and painted their flag
And if you hate the rain there, getting soaked in wales, i swear, is a real drag!
The canals of Bruges made me oh! so glad
So, my friend, is Belgium really so bad?
The footballing skills of Enzo Scifo made me so glad
and Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters tennis…so is Belgium so bad?
I recall in my childhood how Tintin comic books made me glad
So I have to challenge the cynics…Is Belgium really so bad?
All that time spent reading art books in London on “Magritte”
and wonderin’ what it was he was tryin’ to say
But technically, I was so impressed
and in Belgium, you don’t see the badly dressed…often
Belgium, oh! Belgium, you really do turn me on
Chereloi, Liege, Ghent and Mechelen, but maybe not Mouscron!
Yes, I have to recall the great times scoffin’ waffles, I’ve had
So, mister, I put it to you, is Belgium really so bad?



Photo from

Ludivine Sagnier
I’d let you lead me astray
I’d join you in the “Swimming Pool”
Together we’d break all the rules
Cause you’re a hot “Babe” and I’m dead cool

Ludivine, Ludivine
The places I’ve been…
With you in my dreams
Makin’ love by a stream
Or caressing you on a beach in St.Tropez
Ludivine, if I could have you just for a day
I’d be a happy man

Ludivine, beauty queen
You’re a “Girl Cut In Two”
Shame there aren’t more like you
Ludivine, I adore you…