Monthly Archives: March 2015

Maggie And Sacha


Maggie Thatcher would even turn Sacha Distel into a mysogynist!
Or she would make him go out and slash his wrists! …Go out and get pissed (The End…of her life, hooray! And his life too…tragic)sacha




1789 revolt
Just another date in time
History defines a cause
With unfair rulers come unfair laws
Butcher the Royal rabble!
For they were nothing but trouble
Guillotine the lot of ’em
After storming the Bastille Prison
The poor believed they were being treated with contempt
I guess they thought the Royals were an easy target
Personally, i only like the peasants, when they’re revolting!
Cooking the Royal scum’s goose
The proletariat Inflamed and rebelling
They’re feelings running loose
Now 1789 is just a question in a quiz show
Or a reason to head for the west end, you know
For it happened such a long time ago
A chapter in an Encyclopedia, so
I’d rather die standing than live on my knees+
+ famous quote

Prince Andrew


andy pandy
prince andrew is extremely dodgy
In one of his mom’s prisons he would get stodgy
On all that prison food
To be locked up would do him good
It would teach him a lesson
‘Though i doubt it will happen
His narcissisitic german bitch mom would not allow it
But he should be sent down for he is a git!

Andrew Hartnett


Andrew Hartnett
You are a git
A nurse with all the compassion of a snake!
You act like a somebody, you’re a loser, a fake
I’d shoot you with a Kalishnikov, but they’d lock me up for life
I’d rather expose you on the web.For you caused me much strife
You belong in Pritchard’s road day centre.Bethnal Green
You’re by far the ugliest creature i’ve ever seen
A fool with b.o from Belfast
You had me sectioned …You Bast…ard!
And evicted from a Spitalfields flat, too
I ended up in horrible Park Lodge over you
Andrew Hartnett, loyal to Cromwell. Thatcher and the Queen
C.I.D too, you are f****** obscene
Evil Andrew Hartnett
When you kick the bucket
I will celebrate with a cider or 2
Then dance on your grave…I hate you!

Airport Insecurity


dog poem
The kleptomaniacs who work in airport security
You all but bankrupt yourself buying booze in Duty free
Tax free shopping is a f****** con
Then they confiscate it off you…what’s going on?
Those airport security staff are paranoid
Fortunately they are possible to avoid+
They have the capacity to act
On innocent passengers who can’t relax
Social inadequates who act without reason
Watch ’em seize your contact lens solution
And accuse you of being a terrorist
Bullying gives ’em a purpose to exist
Good thing that they don’t know
I once photographed an airport in Bilbao
Or i would be for the high jump you see
Don’t want to fall foul of airport insecurity
In Vancouver, one time….
My only crime….
to fill in a form wrong on the plane
Dragged to one side, interrogated,”Can you explain…
The purpose of your visit here?”
“To photograph moose” i said
“You won’t find anything in my suitcase”
I thought,”You bitch!” and f****** disgrace
Felt so sorry for the elderly chinese couple detained
Who couldn’t speak a word of english…after i left, they remained
Also in a Canadian airport my mother told me
A polish guy restrained and died suddenly
He got angry, they surrounded him and kneeled on his chest
Struggling to breathe, palpitations, then a cardiac arrest
The incompetence and nastiness of Airport staff makes me implode
If you sued them for millions you wouldn’t win…so i wrote this ode
Exposing the lot of ’em for the scum they are
And travel the world by boat, train or hired car
Cause airports are so bad for the environment
And planes that leave half an hour late, a disappointment
Or hijacked planes, a nightmare
For plane travel, i do not care
So, i say, “So there!”
To your inflated plane fare
And go on a booze cruise to Belgium, or go to the far east
Latin America or the Baltic at the very least
Airport insecurity
Airport insecurity………