Monthly Archives: October 2011

When Marvin Met His Match

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The legend Marvin Hagler
went to Australia
he drove off the beaten track
ended up bein’ shown ’round the Outback
by an Aborigine one hot afternoon
Who told him he’d meet his match soon
In the form of a boxing Kangaroo called Billy
After 5 rounds, he made Marvin look extremely silly
Quite a battering Marvin did take
His cornerman said “Comin’ here was a mistake”
But Marvin, in a moment of clarity
Said “I don’t mind losin’ cause it’s all for charity
“And this is a great country
with fantastic scenery
“And great bars, line up The Castlemaine…
“The great taste of Vegemite, I can’t explain
“But it may be a while ’til I come here again”
As he nurses a cut eye on the Qantas plane…

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Hans Christian Andersen (updated)

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Photo from core-strength.net

She was, for her looks, bullied at school something rotten
But this ugly duckling transformed into a beautiful swan
She won her first beauty pageant at the age of 21
at 13 she set about the job of fixing her face
Out with the glasses, in with the contacts and abandoned the brace
She blitzed her zits and dumped her old outfits…for they were a disgrace!
Soon all the fashion magazines featured her on the front cover
She left Tottenham, moved to Cannes and took a movie star as her lover…

Miss Greasy Spoon 1994

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Photo from doo-wopdiner.com

Waitresses don’t win beauty contests very often
and I have to say, I think that’s very wrong
‘Cause some of them are sheer stunning and move with such style
They waltz across to your table and serve your beans on toast with a smile
As for “Miss Greasy Spoon 1994”
I noticed you as soon as I walked through the door
You really were the business
and it’s gettin’ close to Christmas
So here’s a 10 quid tip!
“Miss Greasy Spoon 1994″
Your elegant ways, I do adore
I wouldn’t even mind if you tripped
and spilt my cup of tea on the floor
Cause I worship the ground you walk on
I have to say, you really turn me on…”Miss Greasy Spoon 1994”

The Day We Were Gr-Eight (Sunday, 28th August 2011)

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Photo from WayneRooneyOnline.com

Man. U beat Arsenal 8-2
Van Persie missed a penalty too
Rooney scored a sensational hat trick
The 3rd a pen, the first 2 free kicks
Nani chipped their goalie
Ji-Sung Park added to the scorin’ spree
Howard Webb was the referee
Ashley Young scored 2 delightful goals
As a rampant Man. U exposed huge holes…in Arsenal’s defence
The significance of this result not lost on the watchin’ football world
As the ruthless Man. U put the Gunners to the sword
And Danny Welbeck started the rout with a header
To think, after 3-0 against Spurs, things got even better
Arsene Wenger’s private hell
The Gunners had a player sent off as well
How priviliged I am
to be a Man. U fan