Monthly Archives: March 2012

The World and Jilly

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Copyright to ebay.co.uk

In the Amazon, trees, they keep fellin’
and Jilly Cooper’s shit books keep sellin’
Nations keep marchin’ off to war
and Jilly Cooper’s shit books sell more
Swine flu pandemic and famine…a blight on the world’s health
meanwhile Jilly Cooper’s shit books are flyin’ off the shelf
So much sufferin’ in the world. In India the lepers plight ignored
But you can always read a Jilly Cooper novel, if you want to be bored
need I say more

Pop Star

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Copyright to bittenandbound.com

I’m a pop star. I’m a pop star
I drive around in a flashy car
I drink to excess
I couldn’t care less
I’m a pop star
since I first played my guitar
I knew I would go far
I live for the money and the fame
I never grow tired of playin’ this game
I’m a pop star…

A Turbulent and Somewhat Tragic Decade

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Copyright to boston.com

The Global Recession
Breivik’s massacre in Oslo
Amy Winehouse dying in her 20s
The Arab Spring
The London Riots, a year before the Olympics
The News of the World phone hacking scandal
Who could ever forget the years from 2001 to 2011
I know I never will…

The Basque Country

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Copyright to best-beaches.com

Bilbao, Bilbao, wonderful Bilbao
How I wish I was walkin’ your clean streets now
The friendly welcome that you’re sure to recieve there
The sort of scenery to make you want to stand and stare
The Athletic Bilbao football stadium was great
and for the lovely Old Town, I simply couldn’t wait
The Guggenheim Museum deserves a mention
For it holds a certain fascination
The delights of Rioja wine
and San Sebastien sure is fine
with its stunning beach
within easy reach…of San Mames coach station, Bilbao
A place to forget your worries and your woes
Just sit back and go with the flow
how easy it is to fall in love with the basque country.

The Gardener

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Copyright to sushwapnews.com

The gardener plants his seeds, nurtures them, waters them, watches them grow
Waits patiently as they turn into flowers or potatoes
Weeds, however, are a different kettle of fish
To rid the world of them, would be every gardener’s wish!
If he can keep the cat off his tomato plants
and at the village fete, his melons might stand a chance
Last year, he came second
To Bill Smith, a legend!
Soon he’s able to enjoy the fruits of his labour
He sits down with a bowl of vegetable soup and his neighbour
“Well Joe, that was simply divine!”
“Go down well with a glass of elderflower wine”
“It’s all organic, Fred as well”
“What’s not eaten, I intend to sell…
at the market, for a reasonable price”
“And if the cabbages come through this year, it’ll be nice”
Fred returns home to the “Archers”
Joe’s more than happy with the life of a gardener…

Wayne’s World

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Copyright to nhlsnipers.com

Has there ever been a better exponent of ice hockey
Than the fantastic, the legendary, Wayne Gretzky
I doubt it very much…
and Wayne Rooney’s subtle touch
He knows how to caress a football…”The White Pele” has it all
Is not put off by man marking or a well organized wall
Wayne Gretzky and Wayne Rooney
are heroes, not zeroes…

The David Bowie Fan Club

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While Ole Solskjaer’s busy, bein’ a supersub
One man just wanted to be in the “Bowie” fanclub
Jock from Dumbarton
who swapped his tartan
for the classic “Ziggy” look
Bought the “Diamond Dogs” tour book
He must have seen “Just a Gigolo” 20 times
Had a pair of platform boots, the most heinous of crimes!
“Bowie” souvenirs adorned the walls of his home
He memorised the lyrics from “Fame” to “The Laughing Gnome”
His uncle set the standard when he scaled “Everest”
But Jock was happy with the “Heroes” tattoo on his chest
Sadly, none of the local girls were a tad impressed
“That’s old hat! It’s the radical age now”
So he ditched his obsession
focused on the recession
and went and bought a plough!

The Bastille District

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Copyright to paris-hotel-bastille.com

The Bastille District
Oh! How I love The Bastille District
Its sense of history
Its appeal is no mystery
I love the cinema
The bookshops and the Irish bar
The South Korean restaurant
This cultural centre’s got all that I could want
The Bastille, The Bastille
Monsieur, how does it make you feel?
The kind of things it can reveal…The Bastille, The Bastille
I love the 16th Arrondissement
And St. Germaine des pres is no disappointment
Then there’s the Trocadero, Notre Dame and Musee D’Orsay
But when I first went to the Bastille District, it blew me away
The Bastille, The Bastille
Madam, how does it make you feel?
The kind of things it can reveal
The Bastille, The Bastille

I adore The Bastille district in the day – I love it at night
I enjoy The Bastille district so many ways – what a welcome sight….is The Bastille
In the Bastille District I’ve seen girls who were simply stunning
I can see why The Bastille District has such a loyal following
The Bastille, The Bastille
How does it make you feel?
The kind of things it does reveal
The Bastille, the Bastille
I’ve been to some great places in this world
But the Bastille is so utterly magical
For The Bastille District, I really do care
Wonderful, like a chocolate eclair
The Bastille, The Bastille
How does it make you feel?
The kind of things it does reveal
The Bastille, The Bastille…

Tony Blair, War Criminal

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Tony Blair…no more denials
Tony Blair stand trial….at the Hague
Tony Blair squirming your way out of trouble
But Tony Blair, you are a war criminal
You’ve got the blood of hundreds on your hands, Tony
Tony Blair, it would be a farce if you walked free
It would make a total mockery…of the legal system
and what about the victims
of your pointless war
Tony, I hate what you stand for
Tony, to nail you in the Hague would be hard it seems
‘Cause your legal team works just like a dream
Tony Blair, you I do despise
Tony Blair, we’re sick of your lies
and your silly “Cheshire Cat” grin
You should pay for your crimes
You should answer to the courts and do time
3o years would be about right.

Tony Blair, I don’t want to buy your book “A Journey”
cause there’s nothin’ worse than a rich git countin’ his money
Tony Blair, we’ve met your type before
The instigator of a silly war
An easy life you’ve had
for one so very bad
In your luxury pad…in London
Tony Blair, you are a war criminal
What you did in Iraq was evil
Tony Blair, stand trial
no more pointless denials
Tony Blair no more bullshit
Tony, you are full of it
Tony Blair and George Bush Junior…war criminals!

The Bottom Dollar

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I wonder, were Dollar
The worst band ever
Their cheesy pop songs
Their fame didn’t last long
The 80s was full of naff bands, like ‘Dexy’s Midnight Runners’
and ‘Spandau Ballet’, but what about the truly awful ‘Dollar’
Does anyone really care that David Van Day
and Tereza Bazaar hated each other anyway
Yes, this perfect luvvy duvvy duo were not what they seem
Apparently he ended up sellin’ ice cream…on the coast
I listened to their 80s hits with excrutiatin’ pain
Audio dentistry, I have to ask you again
were ‘Dollar’
The worst band ever
Or possibly ‘Bucks Fizz’?