Monthly Archives: June 2014

Performing Seals

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performing seals
What does the act of performing seals
about man, reveal?
And if it wasn’t seals it would be dolphins
The stark reality for these creatures kicks in
Don’t believe in performing seals

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Roger Federer

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rfederer
Strawberries and cream, Strawberries and cream
Watching Federer win at Wimbledon would be a dream
Roger Federer was born to play tennis
Roger Federer is a genius
Roger Federer
You’re my mom’s favourite player
I gave her your book one time
Some of your shots are sublime
Roger Federer you don’t take yourself too seriously
During the Wimbledon rain delays, doing bad karaoke…
with Novak Djokovic…..Roger, I wonder
has there been a more elegant player
to grace the courts of SW19
Winning grand slams for you, is a routine
When I play tennis it’s more like “Roger Rabbit” than Roger Federer!
Thanks to Stefan Edberg, at 32 you’ve become a serve and volleyer
Reinventing yourself Roger
Approaching the twilight of your career
But I’m sure a few more tournament wins will follow
A career as a coach could beckon tomorrow
The end is in sight
But the future is bright….For Roger Federer

We Met On Bonfire Night

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bonfire night
We met on bonfire night, eating jacket potatoes
And discussing our all time heroes
I said Che Guevara and Guy Fawkes
She said Blur! Then we went for a walk
I said “What have Blur done to change the course of history?”
The answer she gave remains a mystery
I returned to watch the fireworks fly
So many colours lighting up the sky
She came back and tugged my arm
“We may not have much in common
but I’d like to see you more often”
I said “O.K”

That Cursed Woman

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bus stop
She lost her fella
and her umbrella
in the same week
Things look pretty bleak
Now she’s standing at the bus stop, soaking wet
Talking to some dodgy stranger she met, in the pub
Says he’s a hundred quid in debt.Asked her for a sub
“I’ll pay you back tomorrow”
Those words sound so hollow
Now a month has passed
Her giro’s come at last
Still no sign of the stranger
Convinced she’s out of danger
But just her rotten luck
Got hit by a ten ton truck!
and some bloke ran off with her giro!

Maths ‘Aint Boring

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Let's think
Julie, you’re a maths professor
I fell in love with you at one of your lectures
I excel at maths too
We make a good couple, me and you
We have such nice conversations
’bout algebra and quadratic equations
Cause maths ‘aint boring
I said maths ‘aint boring
You’re even more beautiful than Carol Vordermann
If I’m your “Superman” then you’re my “Wonderwoman”
Julie, the number I wanted
was your phone number and you obliged, I’m glad
Before you showed up on the scene
The boredom of my existence was driving me mad
Julie,oh Julie
you set me free
from a life of misery
Now Julie, won’t you
let me do something for you
I’d like to buy you a “Levi Strauss” jacket for Christmas
Cause Julie from Provence, you really are the business
Both of us believe that maths is fascinating
Julie, oh Julie, I spent my whole life waiting….for a girl like you

Pimlico

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tate
Pimlico,Oh Pimlico
How I love to watch the river flow
Some great paintings at Tate Britain, I have seen
Or sit on a bench in Bessborough gardens, so serene
Pimlico, oh Pimlico
Where the pace of life seems so slow
Pimlico is great day or night
Pimlico is simply a delight
Pimlico
Oh Pimlico

Going To Vancouver +( written october 2010)

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vancouver
I’m going to Vancouver.The world’s best city
That’s official. I sure bet it’s pretty
I’m going to Vancouver.Sit back, relax and enjoy the inflight movie
I’m going to Vancouver. Can’t wait to get there….I’ve heard that it’s groovy!
I’m going to Vancouver.
May even encounter a beaver
I’m going to Vancouver to buy a Whitecaps football shirt
A 2 week break from the east end won’t hurt
I’m going to Vancouver to take in a live Ice Hockey game
I’m going to Vancouver and I’m sure my life will never be the same
I’m going to Vancouver. I’m sure i’ll enjoy every minute of the trip
I’m going to Vancouver to scoff pancakes covered in maple syrup
A break in Vancouver could be so good for the soul
I’m going to Vancouver. Hey I can photograph a totem pole
I’m going to Vancouver to gaze at stunning scenery, that’s all
I’m going to Vancouver to hear Bryan Adams played in shopping malls
Going to Vancouver
Going to Vancouver