Monthly Archives: July 2012

Phil and Charles

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Phil and Charles they toured the UK
and made a lot of money along the way
Charles was the funny one…Phil,the straight guy
The crowds always laughed…”more”, they cry
On the stage they were like brothers
Away from the stage they hated each other
One night Phil came down the theatre stairs
A stagehand shouted “Charles beware!”
Phil had an axe and he dealt several blows
Now he’s in prison writing for radio shows!

Bruce

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If there’s one movie hero I’d like to be
It’s not John Wayne or Chaplin, it’s Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee made things happen
He was great in “Enter The Dragon”
The dynamic Bruce Lee
thwarting all the baddies
Bruce Lee really craved the excitement of battle
and I’ll bet he enjoyed livin’ in Seattle
Yes, if I had my way
I’d be Bruce Lee, if only for a day
and no one better pick a fight with me
cause I’m the ultimate fighting machine: Bruce Lee
There are many imitators, see
But there’s only ever one Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee
Has left his mark in history
“Water can flow or it can crash, be water, my friend”
In ’73 your story did come to an end
But you live on in our minds and our hearts, like all legends
If I was Bruce Lee I would fear no one…

No Place Like Home

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Copyright to menandcats.com

He’d relaxed by a canal in Bruges
Observed the ‘Can-Can’ in the Moulin Rouge
But there’s no place like home
He’d been to the ‘Nou camp’ to see Barca win
Stood in awe of the ‘Brandenburg gate’ in Berlin
But there’s no place like home
He’d tasted Haute Cuisine in Strasbourg
Visited the vinyards of Luxembourg
But there’s no place like home
He’d marveled at the splendour of the Buddhist temples in Tibet
The time he spent with the locals in Peru, was the best yet
But there’s no place like home
He was amused by ‘The Manneken Pis’
Got caught up in the romance of Venice
But there’s no place like home
He adored California, was captivated by Rome
But at the end of the day, he was glad to be home
He’d been everywhere, from Alice Springs to Montserrat
But he always looked forward to his Pimlico flat
Sat on the couch with a microwave meal and his cat.

The Man With No Street Cred

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Copyright to mysocialupgrade.com

He’s the man with no street cred
maybe he’d be better off dead!
He’s the man from Dullsville
always listenin’ to Jacque Brel
The Nolans or The Spice Girls
He’s got John Major’s phone number in his address book
and Narcotics Anonymous, worth a look!
He doesn’t seem to care
when he’s spotted in flares
He’s boring. So incredibly dull
He rented a flat in Solihull
He drives a “Robin Reliant”
He’s got no street cred, unimportant
He once drove down to an antique fare
and came back with Val Doonican’s rocking chair!
When there were much better bargains to be had there
The man with no street cred
Maybe he’d be better off dead
Hush Puppies: he’s got 3 pairs of ’em
and 12 pure wool brown cardigans
He gets nicked by the “Fashion Police” every single day
Brookside would be back on TV, if he had his way
The man with no street cred
maybe he’d be better off dead
He’s the annoying “pub bore”
you’ve come across before
He’s the man from Dullsville
Yes, we’ve all had our fill
of the man with no street cred
Whose name could be Norman, Rupert or Fred
He’ll drive you round the bend
He’s Gok Wan’s best friend
Okay, I lied about that
but not the rest
The man with no street cred
The man with no street cred.

Frida

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Frida Kahlo was an artist and a Mexican
a left winger and turned out to be a lesbian
Frida Kahlo
you did suffer so…
You painted the revolution in your head
and like all political struggle, it was red
Frida Kahlo, renowned for your numerous and scandalous affairs
but for hubby Diego Rivera, maybe you really did care
Frida Kahlo, you had vision
a woman on a mission
Sadly, one of self destruction
Frida Kahlo
you did suffer so…
Like many a great artist before

You captured the Mexican civil war
in all its glory
yours was quite a story
They got Salma Hayek to play you on the silver screen
A celebrated actress, to do you justice, not some has-been!
Frida Kahlo, Frida Kahlo
‘Though you weren’t as pure as the driven snow
Who in this world is, except the odd nun
Frida Kahlo, you certainly had your fun
Frida you had passion
Your art and your love life often clashin’
Frida Kahlo
you did suffer so…