Monthly Archives: April 2014

Rooney’s Goal+ +(Saturday March 22nd 2014)

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rooneys goal SJ
Wayne Rooney’s goal against West Ham
From the halfway way line, watched by Beckham
David Beckham did the very same
Once in a Man.U/ Wimbledon game
Wayne Rooney’s goal will be talked about for years
In bars across the world as fans down a few beers
Wayne Rooney, undoubtedly the best English player
Since the brilliant, but inconsistent Matt Le Tissier
Rooney’s goal: It’s a safe bet
Will be viewed by millions on the internet
Rooney’s goal

Ireland’s Triumph

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irelands triumphs SJ
Ireland won the 6 nation’s with a 2 point victory in Paris
France scored a try at the death, but it was a foreward pass
And so the French capital is a sea of green, orange and white
Brian ‘o’ Driscoll, a fitting farewell. Celebrations into the night
The Guinness flowed in Dublin and Belfast
Long may the joyous feeling last
Johnny Sexton: The hero with 2 tries
Before being stretchered off in the night sky
It’s a Van Morrison afternoon
The whole of Ireland “Over The Moon”

Fear And Loathing (In Tony’s Town)

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Cable car SJ
The yuppies have taken over San Francisco
Driving out the artists and the odd latino
It’s a crying shame
Silicon Valley’s to blame
It can happen in London and Berlin if it can happen there
San Francisco–Tony Bennet left his heart there!
But it’s soul has been ripped out
Something worth getting angry about
Yuppies, don’t know how you can show your face
Yuppies, you are a fucking disgrace!
Fear and loathing (in Tony’s town)

Harvey Milk (It All Turned Sour For You)

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Harvey Milk SJ
Harvey Milk was an iconic figure
He had vim.He had vigour
He came to San Francisco from the East coast
At first he had much success to toast
in the city by the bay, he loved the most
Now San Fran echoes to the sound of his ghost
Harvey Milk was charismatic
Harvey Milk, his end was tragic
Harvey Milk, you’ll go down in history
Loved Sean Penn’s performance in the d.v.d
Harvey Milk, your rise to the top was tough
Harvey Milk, the stuff legends are made of…

Maria Who Lived In Prague

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The Czech girl in the café
in Prague, sipping a latte
I said “Ahoj…jmenuji se Stephen…Mluvite Anglicky?”
She said “Yes” I was relieved, for it could have been tricky
Her name was Maria…I really did like her smile
I said “What are you reading?” She said “Franz Kafka’s The trial”
I said “I love Kafka too” “i’m also a fan of Pavel Nedved”
“I saw him score a great goal for the national team once” she said
So, me and the Czech girl in the Prague café
near Charles Bridge, getting on famously
With my “Mister Bean” mask-I reduced her to fits of hysterics
I said “I think you are beautiful!” She said “I think you are terrific!”
SO, Maria and I walked the cobbled streets to her place
Soon I was experiencing her passionate embrace
On her record player she played ROXY MUSIC’S “Love Is The Drug”
Then we made love on the lounge on her 18th century rug
She said “I’m crazy about you Stephen!”
I said “I love your place-It’s so bohemian!”
“I also love your paintings…and on closer inspection
I have to say I love your DVORAK vinyl collection”
“Maria won’t you play me
his NEW WORLD symphony?”
She obliged…Then we sat down on her elegant sofa
“Would you move to London Town with me?” I asked her
She said “Of course I will”
Soon we were canoodling in Muswell Hill
I was so happy for she looked like a dream
And I bought her a poster of Slavia Prague football team
that I found on the internet
Now, 5 years on and I have no regrets…

The Super Bowl

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The Super Bowl is to Americans
what a song and a dance is to Cubans
Or what haute cuisine and fine wine are to the French
Al and Joe discussing last years final on a park bench
But I just don’t get The Super Bowl
What is the attraction of American Football?
Will someone please explain it to me
Why it whips such a huge nation into a frenzy?
And why those yanks
to our football, say no thanks
Soccer, as they call it there, just hasn’t caught on
But The Super Bowl has them gripped to their televisions
“On N.B.C sports channel live coverage….
Now we bring you these messages…..From our sponsors”
Back to the action : Chicago Bears
scored a home run—But I ask you, who cares
(Outside of the U.S of A that is)
The Super Bowl is big business
The Super Bowl….Watch it in a diner in L.A or a beigal bar in new York City
The Super Bowl has not captured my soul ‘though I have to admit the cheerleaders were pretty!

The Ivory Trade

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The highly profitable ivory trade
No more obvious example of man’s wickedness displayed
Put pressure on the poachers
and their equally nasty employers
We must do our best to protect these great beasts
Governments must act now.The vicious ivory trade must cease
On mankind the elephant’s future depends
I for one, couldn’t face a world without our elephant friends

Jeremy Kyle

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Jeremy kyle is the worst programme on t.v
And that’s saying a lot believe me
Jeremy Kyle should be done under the trade descriptions act
For it’s masquerading as entertainment and that’s a fact
Who watches this shit?! I have to ask
Let’s take the show’s producers to task
I don’t care that it’s popular in some quarters.Let’s be brave…
and ban it for good.Cause John Logie Baird’s turning in his grave!

Shark Fin Soup

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If I was a songwriter i’d write a song
about how shark fin soup is so wrong
It would be about 3 minutes long
Shark fin soup is a disgrace
Shark fin soup…Stuff your face!
There soon won’t be many sharks left alive
Cause in the orient the shark fin soup market thrives
Shark fin soup….what a tragic waste
Shark fin soup leaves a nasty taste….in the mouth
Don’t believe in Shark fin soup