Monthly Archives: June 2016

L.S.D (Part Rhyming/Part Non Rhyning)

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Would L.S.D make me create even better art?

Would it make me grow extremely long fingernails?

Or just visualise pink elephants with wings

Did L.S.D screw Syd Barret up….Or was it years before that the rot set in?

Would L.S.D kill me? I doubt somehow

Prescription drugs could do that quicker

Decriminalize A, B or C, get the picture

Give people the freedom to chose

I would like to try “Space cake” again

But L.S.D i’m not sure it’s for me

As for Amsterdam, as a city, not bad

But Eindhoven i did prefer

L.S.D, L.S.D, L.S.D, L.S.D

If it was a controlled environment see

Magic Mushrooms or Ecstacy

L.S.D, L.S.D, L.S.D, L.S.D

Is still illegal and that’s absurd

To be a liberal these days is a dirty word

L.S.D, L.S.D

L.S.D, L.S.D

The New Wave Of Comedy

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If you object to modern comedy

They insult you by calling you p.c

But the old comedians like Laurel and Hardy and Harold LLoyd

Sick jokes about rape or Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson, they would avoid

Frankie Boyle (Boil) you are a bum

Nothing more than a talentless, nasty glaswegian

and a disgrace

Like Ricky Gervais

I hate this ugly face….

Of modern humour

As welcome as a brain tumour

They’ll probably make jokes about that too

Modern comedians f*** you!

Nothing wrong with being controversial

But sick is not funny it’s just sick

The new wave of comedians are not bold but pathetic

Even with her head down a toilet

Amy Winehouse had more dignity

Than Frankie Boyle will ever have …his comments just shitty!

8 out of 10 cats prefer it or Buster Keaton

I know which i’d rather watch on  television

The new wave of comedy

Is definitely not for me

I’ll Never Get An O.B.E (Nor Would I Want One)

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I’ll never get an O.B.E old son

And nor would i want one

For i don’t believe in The British Empire…..German and Greek inbreds

I’ll never get an O.B.E as they don’t give them out to commies or reds

I’ll never be Poet Laureate i’m happy to say

And that’s a crappy title anyway

I’m far too much of a rebel you see to ever get given a  gong

If i reach 100 the telegram’s going in the bin where our trashy royal family belong

I’ll never get an O.B.E

C.B.E or M.B.E

I’ve known that all along

“The Queen is Dead” a great Smiths song

I’ll never get a medal from The Queen

She’s given them to Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall, obscene

Not to mention the british soldiers

Who got away with murder

On “Sunday, Bloody, Sunday”

You can be sure i’ll never get an O.B.E

Nor would i want one

A Week In The Life

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On “My week with Marilyn”, i am sold

“My week with Marilyn” is cinematic gold

And i’m no fan of hollywood

But the script was so damn good

And the performances as well

Michelle Williams just swell

“My week with Marilyn” is not the world’s best movie

But when all’s said and done “My week with Marilyn” is groovy!

Entertainers Through The Years

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Zbigniew Boniek, Zbigniew Boniek

On well drilled defences you did wreak havoc

You starred for Juventus and alongside Smolarek in Spain 82

But, Zbigniew Boniek  what, i wonder, became of you

Still a legend in Poland ….You must be getting on in years

No doubt prefer lukewarm soup to polish beers!!!!

But you could only stain  a cardigan!!!!

Not  a reputation

Unlike Paolo Rossi your Juve team mate

Who arrived on the scene not a moment too late

To upstage you in that semi final

Zbigniew Boniek at hte time you had no equal

Apart from maybe Eder

Zbigniew Boniek the world does care…….

For it’s entertainers in all their glory

And yours was quite a story

Zbigniew Boniek scorer of many goals and from every range

You faded into obscurity, how alien and strange

But for Zbigniew Boniek, read hero, mister

One day there’ll be a whole load of Boniek t-shirts, mugs and posters

I simply loved the way you played the game

But what is it with Eastern European names

They don’t roll off the tongue

Zbigniew you are no longer young…..And nor am i

Zbigniew Boniek, Zbigniew Boniek

To organized back 4’s you wreaked havoc…..And chaos

Zbigniew Boniek you are

Indeed a star…..

 

Passenger

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A guy stirs feelings in me i can’t explain

In the same carriage on the Hammersmith bound train

The spitting image of Matt Hummels if Matt Hummels were just 5 ft 7

And Latino not German

Not an ounce of fat on his beautiful torso

Extremely well dressed, it has to be stressed, also

But clearly straight, alas, i’m at a loss

So after feasting on eye candy i get off at King’s Cross