Monthly Archives: March 2014

Diamond Geezer

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neildiamond

“The American Popular Song goes on and on”
“The American Popular Song goes on and on”
And Neil would know all about that
To the Diamond geezer, I take off my hat
For his
truly is…”A Beautiful Noise”
He appeals to girls and boys
The Diamond geezer
“Stargazer”
“A Jazz Singer”
is the Diamond geezer
The Jewish boy who hails from Brooklyn, New York
“Money talks, but it can’t sing and dance and it can’t walk”
The Diamond Geezer
is “Forever…In blue jeans”

Fatman Went Robbin’

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pizza burglary

Fatman robbed the chip shop. The chip shop owner Suzy…
was shortsighted. Mistook his water pistol for an Uzi
Fatman robbed the pizza place
so that he could stuff his face
The staff said “Fatman, you’re a fucking disgrace!”
“But you’re welcome to our profits”
“‘Though what we make in a week’s not worth it”
Then fatman robbed the K.F.C.
But was caught red handed scoffin’
Armed police, they gunned him down
And now he’s in a coffin!

Jim

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crazy

Jim’s mother dropped him on his head as a baby
Which explains away Jim’s apparent madness, maybe
Jim lived all alone in a house on the M1!
To some, that’s dangerous. To Jim it was fun!
But Jim’s madness didn’t end there
He would go shopping in his underwear
And at night he’d climb into a freezing cold bath
And would go to work on the back of a giraffe
He worked in a bank and would give wads of cash away
His employment terminated after just a day
All sorts of crazy ideas swam around his head
One day, for a joke, he painted his torso bright red
Medication had little or no effect on him
For he was too far gone, was our Jim
But Jim was glad
that he was mad
For, he’d watch the news “If that’s reality!” he said
“I’d rather take my chances with my insanity instead!”
So there you have it, the story of Jim
In a way, it’s a shame there aren’t more like him
For, although he is an utter basket case
He makes the world a more colourful place!

Amanda

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amandaburton

Amanda Burton is the thinking man’s crumpet!
And a great actress, let’s not forget
What a woman
is Amanda Burton
Shame there aren’t more like her…
Amanda, if you and I were lovers…
in my wildest dreams
Snogging by an Oxford stream
Amanda Burton, Amanda Burton
Such glamour on our television’s
Your presence itself, would be well worth the license fee
Amanda Burton, on the eye, you are easy
Amanda Burton, what a woman. She is red hot
If she was mine I’d take her to “Ronnie Scott’s”
Amanda Burton, I love you

The Winter of Discontent

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winterdiscontent

A time when the unions held the country to ransom
And gave the Tories the excuse to bang their drum
The Winter Of Discontent
I was just a boy but I knew what it meant
The Winter Of Discontent
saw the end of the labour government
The worst thing ’bout that time, it spawned the monster
And we’re still paying for the crimes of Maggie Thatcher!
Broken Britain, won’t you take a look
A period best consigned to the history books
The Winter Of Discontent
The Winter Of Discontent…

Broken World

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dylan

It’s a broken world
Our children’s shattered dreams
It’s a broken world
Our children’s shattered dreams
What have we done to this world we live in?
It was so beautiful in the beginnin’
What have we done to this world we live in?
It was so magical in the beginnin’
Broken world, like a fractured skull
Broken world, like a fractured skull
The broken promises of our leaders
The broken promises of our leaders
Broken world, like a smashed window
Broken world, like a brick through a window
It’s a broken world
It’s a broken world
“Everything is broken”
Sang Bob Dylan