Monthly Archives: April 2015

Biased Behaviour(I Hate It!)+Non rhyming poem


how come when a stunning feminist is eyed up by a lesbian it is flattering
Yet if the same woman is eyed up or chatted up by a man he is being a pest
And how come when a Chelsea player is accidentally knocked to the ground it is a dirty foul and a red card offence…
Yet when Cahill kicks Wayne Rooney or Gerrard and they go down they are faking it and roundly booed by those w****** in “The Shed”
And how come when the left does something positive for the country
The right will always slag them off or claim it was really their policy
I hate it!

Come To Sri Lanka


Sri Lanka
Come to Sri lanka, They’ve got cattle roaming the street
of downtown Colombo where the mood, i’m sure is upbeat
Sri Lanka, the home of fine cuisine
And Leopards drinking out of waterholes
Sri Lanka could be one of the best places you’ve seen
The people i’m sure have beautiful souls
Come to Sri Lanka
and spend your Dollar
Your Pound Sterling, Yen or Euro
You’ll have a great time, you know

Come to Sri Lanka
You won’t regret it
Come to Sri Lanka
Stress and woes, forget it
Just relax and enjoy
Sri Lanka, oh! Boy!
I can’t wait to go
Come to Sri Lanka,’specially if you’re a cricket fan
But if you’re not.On their sandy beaches you’ll get a nice tan
Come to Sri Lanka and stop
Off at a souvenir shop…Go home with an elephant
Or go to a bird sanctuary
Come to Sri Lanka and feel free
Come to Sri Lanka to escape the tedium
of the Eastend. take in an Art museum
or two
Savour the view
Come to Sri Lanka…I can’t wait
A Boat to Sri Lanka…fix a date
Going to Sri Lanka…Scene of 3 Duran Duran videos
Going to Sri Lanka.Where the adventure takes you, no one knows
Going to Sri Lanka
Going to Sri Lanka…

Being Boris


Boris Johnson wants to be Tory Prime Minister
Boris johnson’s a fat bottle blonde and sinister
Boris Johnson drove all the pigeons away from Trafalgar square
For, Boring ambitious Boris, i really do not care
Boris Johnson and his illegal pilot rent scheme
To drive the poor out of London is his dream
He also put paid to the 1 quid “Booze Cruise”
to Belgium and Calais.Boris cannot lose
He will soon be in the cabinet
And he’s a nasty f****** git!
The worst London Mayor since Samuel Pepys, is Boris Johnson
He’s a social inadequate and a sub-human
Life with Boris in Number 10 would be tough
Boris Johnson why don’t you just f*** off!

Beautiful Bergen(Written In Bergen March 14th 2015)


beautiful Bergen
Bergen’s splendid harbour
Awash with colour
Beautiful statues, beautiful buildings
Beautiful people, beautiful feeling
Glad i came to Bergen.I took great photos there
For stunning Bergen, i really do care
The beautiful art you will see
In close proximity
‘Though one art museum i just photographed
And ducks aplenty in the pond, for a laugh
Beautiful music on the streets
Wonderful Bergen is upbeat
If i could
Live in Bergen, i would
And travel ‘cross Norway, Sweden and Finland on state run trains
I wouldn’t even mind getting soaked in Bergen in the rain
What pulls me to certain places i can’t explain
But i’m so glad i visited beautiful Bergen.Houses perched on a hill
“Jensen’s Interflora” shop.The memories of Bergen linger still
Beautiful Bergen.Sunset over the docks
Or beautiful Bergen lady in her summer frock
They have hunks as well.Bowie would love this place!
From Bergen to Tower Hamlets and that’s a f****** disgrace!
I wish i could be
Selling art and street poetry
in Bergen
Beautiful Bergen
Beautiful Bergen…



dimitri shostokovitch
Dimitri Shostokovitch
Died when i was 6
In 1975
He achieved
All he wanted to achieve
When he was alive
And how many of us can say that
So to Dmitri, i take off my hat
Dimitri Shostokovitch
Must have been fairly rich
And died when i was 6
Dimitri Shostokovitch
Dimitri Shostokovitch
Your successful career free of any glitch
Dimitri…Very few…
Set backs for you
Dimitri Shostokovitch set the world on fire
Dimitri Shostokovitch, Russian women would desire
Dimitri Shostokovitch
Dimitri Shostokovitch…

Nice Legs, Shame ‘Bout The Boat Race


boat race
Louise from Peterborough watching The Boat Race on the Thames
She once dated 2 of the Cambridge crew, but forgot their names
She got out her note book
And leant over the bridge for a closer look
A drunken male cyclist knocked her over the edge, did he
She fell and collided with the female cox, Suzy
So there the 2 of them were
Splashing about in the water
somewhere near the finish line
Cambridge capsized.Oxford won in the sunshine!
The Police
fished Louise
out of the river
For, she was no swimmer
On the river bank, with a towel, she dried
What a f****** disgrace!
She stared at her heroes and sighed
Nice legs, shame ’bout the boat race!