Monthly Archives: September 2018

Robbery, Patisserie



The Profiterole thief

Caused the cake shop owner grief.

But his plan was splendid.

He caught him brown handed.

For, in the shop he…..

had C.C.T.V

Hidden on a plate….

of Meringues….t’was fate…

That the Profiterole thief should suffer in jail.

For the cake shop owner Jean,  a happy end to this tale.

But Paul the thief was only banged up for a while.

For his mate smuggled in a cake with a file!

Clive’s Story



“I used to be sad just like you”

“Listening to Elton John . Always feeling blue”

“Then one day i bought a Mr.Bean box set”

“I laughed myself silly.The best 10 quid i’ve spent yet”

“And all the other classics i found in the FOPP archives”

“Monty Python and Family Guy, signing off , Clive*

*A happy chappy

Where The Smile-y People Are



As happy as a Scandinavian.They can afford to relax.

Even ‘though in Norway they are paying a mountain of tax.

In Denmark where it’s a fiver for a pint of Ale.

On those Copenhagen streets, jollity does prevail.

In Sweden where it’s usually f*****g cold.

Yet they seldom get miserable even when they’re old.

After all they’ve all made retirement plans.

And most of ’em are SAAB driving, ABBA fans.

“Always look on the bright side of life”

Philip Went To The Philippines



One day Philip went to The Philippines.

In a cafe in Manila he feasted on baked beans.

He was overjoyed to find it there.

An establishment serving traditional English fare.

Philip, he went to The Philippines.

In a market he bought a pair of designer jeans.

The man he bought them off was extremely nice.

And he was bowled over by the asking price.

25 quid in English money.

Next day he lay on  a beach that was sunny.

Friday came and he was back in the capital.

In his Real Madrid shirt and Levi’s he looked pretty cool.

Philip was quite at home in The Philippines.

With his CANON,  snapping beautiful scenes.

Philip in The Philippines.

Where he met the girl of his dreams.

A Japanese stunner who went by the name of Suzy.

They chatted while queueing up outside a large gallery.

They swapped email addresses then went their separate ways….

After leaving the exhibition.Our Phil still in a daze.

Philip in The Philippines.

In a store selling ice cream.

In a place as splendid as Manila.

It wouldn’t do it justice if he ordered Vanilla.

So he left instead

With a Strawberry cone, bright red.

That was a week ago.

Now, Philip has left The Philippines.

Back in his flat in Soho.

Browsing through glossy travel magazines.

Next up for Phil.

Rio, Brazil.

He simply cannot wait.

But first, with Suzy, a Curry house date.

The Puppet Master



The puppet master of Prague’s fine city.

Hand made puppets, so elegant, so pretty.

A family business going back generations.

Way superior fare to those cheap imitations….

hawked around the familiar tourist places.

Trust the real McCoy.Hand painted smiley faces.

A charming souvenir to fill your heart with cheer.

See there’s more to Prague than the women and the beer.

The puppet master reigns supreme.

With his dedicated team…

Of skilled craftsmen and women

Doing what comes naturally to them.

The puppet master of Prague can’t be matched.

The puppet master of Prague.Strings attached.