Monthly Archives: November 2011

Graham’s LSD Trip


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Some men like to put up shelves
I’d rather put up elves
They make you toast but take up more space
I don’t like trolls though,they’re an ugly race!
I met Karl Marx once…didn’t like his beard
And thought some of his views rather weird
He liked me though.
I kipped on Picasso’s sofa in downtown Bilbao
While he made passionate love to Dali’s wife
Then Dali burst in and slashed his painting with a knife
So I left in a hurry
Met a killer in a marketplace in Tripoli
He was buying flowers and herbal tea!
I thought this is surreal
Then there was my encounter with “The Mad Hatter”
He poured me some tea that fucked up my bladder
(Ugh! Dormouse flavour)
Woke up next morning in a drunken state
I think it was the state of Victoria
I approached a farmer who was shavin’ his sheep
He tried to flog me “Rolf Harris” LPs cheap
But I wasn’t havin’ it
So I drifted off home
via the “Twilight Zone”
And crashed out on my bed.

Van The Man


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Van Nistelrooy, Van Nistelrooy
Many a defence he will destroy
He’s fast as lightning and as strong as an ox
He comes into his own inside the box
Lethal on the ground and extremely dominant in the air
Not since Cantona had the Man U fans witnessed such style and flair
Up front with Solskjaer, what a brilliant combination
1-0, 2-0, 3-0, at Old Trafford much celebration
On to a through ball from Ryan Giggs
The Arsenal goalie makes himself big
But Van The Man lobs him audaciously
Soon he’s beaten him again to make it 3
“Van Nistelrooy,Van Nistelrooy,” the crowd shout out his name
He finishes with a hat trick and takes the acclaim.