Author Archives: Stephen Jensen

About Stephen Jensen

Witty poetry that makes you think.

The Relevance of “The”


The relevance of “The” …He used it once or twice

Significance of “The”…The Chocolate Gateaux slice”

The relevance of “The”…It’s a real “Wow!” word

Not to use it several times in poetry , would be absurd

Oxford and Cambridge graduates

Have written realms and realms about it

However somewhat more importantly

Than possessing a philosophy degree

The Liberal useage of “The” in society

If “And” is a Martial f.A cup final hat-trick

Then “The” is surely a swift Bruce Lee Kung- Fu kick !

The relevance of “The”………

It Probably Wouldn’t Happen To A Kenyan**(i don’t know any Kenyan male names …so Poetic license …i used the name of a Somalian i know)


Poor ol’ Abdi Farah

A Kenyan long distance runner

Competing in the london marathon

Phil in “Paddy Power” had a grand on him at odds on

Abdi was about 6 miles from the finish line

With the chasing pack , quite far behind

All of a sudden

this sprightly Kenyan

Hit “The Wall” and collapsed in a heap

Phil ripped up his betting slip

Abdi Farah was carted off in an Ambulance

The Japanese runner won by a distance

But Mike Toshiba tested positive for a banned Steroid.

A 10-1 shot. To say the least , Dave was somewhat annoyed

“I had him on my accumulator”

“With Man U to beat Brighton” To the pub , cleared off later

To drown his sorrows in “The Nags Head”

Meanwhile poor Abdi’s resting in a hospital bed.

“I really think that i’ve let everyone down”

“When news of this reaches Nairobi , i’ll be chased out of town!”

Abdi Farah , citizen of Kenya , your race is run

It didn’t quite work out as you’d planned , old son

It probably shouldn’t happen to a Kenyan….

An Ode To Sadiq Khan


Mayor of London close down the Ottoman Doner. It is a f****** disgrace !

In the 2 years it’s been open, there’s been a stabbing, a fire and a fight in that place

The “Riff Raff” it attracts on the street outside, stuffing their face

Mayor Sadiq Khan, do something positive and shut down the place.

Mayor of London prove to it’s citizens….

You’re worthy of your lofted position

Do something worthwhile

Substance over style

Close down the Ottoman Doner, won’t you

Before the police feel the need to

Close down the Ottoman Doner, whatever it takes

Close down the Ottoman Doner, for humanity’s sake !

The Roar Of The Greasepaint The Smell Of The Crowd


He came of age

As “King Lear” on stage

At The Globe Theatre, on the South Bank

He had his school careers officer to thank

Who suggested he become an actor

His dad wanted him to be a banker

He has come an awfully long way….

from his breakfast cereal ads, hey

That his agent got him, many years ago

His elevation to stardom, both measured and somewhat, slow

In Holywood, half the movies…

He starred in , were “Turkeys”

His career took a nosedive

But at “The Globe” he did thrive.

He never doubted his ability

Had to re-establish his credibility

“The Roar Of The Greasepaint…..The Smell Of The Crowd”

If his parents were still alive, they would both be proud

“Hi…Diddle Le De….An actors life for me” **( A line from the Disney movie Pinocchio)

“Don’t Mention The War!”


Fawlty Towers : The Germans , has fallen fowl of political correctness

If those p.c fools had tanks they’d be extremely dangerous

As for the Germans, i’m sure they can see the funny side

Long may John Cleese entertain us .His appeal, spans far and wide

Manuel the incompetent waiter

And of course who could forget the Major

“Don’t mention the War!”

What More Could You Want ?










Internationaux-de-France-de-tennis-Roland-Garros- -630x405- -©-FFT-Christophe-Saïdi


Moulin rouge











Paris mon amie, has got everything you could want

From stunning mademoiselles to all types of restaurant

Flea markets, Designer clothes shops, Art galleries

Lively cafes, the aroma of the boulangeries…

Wafting onto the streets

If a busker you should meet

You could throw a euro or two their way

Paris in the winter, or a sunny day

PSG celebrating their half century

The Moulin Rouge. Dancing girls, aplenty

Roland Garros scene of  Nadal’s many triumphs

A  “Vespa ” motoring past the Arc Du Triomph

State of the art record shops

who’s prices won’t make your jaw drop

English language cinemas showing the best movies of the decade

Architecht’s walk,  splendid boulevards, flower sellers plying their trade

The Eiffel Tower looms large into view

J’adore Paris. How about you….

Graffitti art ,elegant parks

Wonderful by day or lit up when it’s dark

Back to the splendid variety of the restaurants

Yes “Gay Paris” i have to ask , what more could you want…