Monthly Archives: December 2017

Naughty Monkeys

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Rhesus monkey Macaques are cute.

Rhesus monkey Macaques steal fruit….

in broad daylight from market stalls in Jaipur.

And have the audacity to come back for more…..

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Pigalle Passion

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Marie-Claire worked in an Erotic book shop.

One day Sylvie strolled in and her jaw it did drop.

Sylvie had a pretty impressive physique.

She’d just broken up with her girlfriend Monique.

Soon she was slipping her phone number to Marie-Claire.

The 2 of them french kissing in the Pigalle night air.

Then off they sped

on Sylvie’s moped.

To Marie-Claire’s apartment 3 streets away.

Sylvie slapped Marie-Claire’s ass in the hallway.

Marie-Claire said “I think it’s only fair….

If we watch this steamy lesbo d.v.d in our underwear”

” Sylvie won’t you relax with me and a box of popcorn and a beer”

Marie-Claire run her fingers through Sylvie’s hair and panted “It’s fun being queer”

As the 2 characters on screen screamed orgasmically.

Sylvie confessed her last fling ended quite tragically.

“Monique had a stunning body like you Marie-Claire”

“When i met her in a gay bar she was working as an au pair”

“It was great for a while….I loved her sense of style”

“and i have to say every so often she made me smile”

“But it was her excessive drinking binges that did for us in the end”

“I saw her in hospital it was sad. for she was a lover and a friend…”

“She was lying there pale and weak, practically at death’s door”

“.I left the ward sobbing. i couldn’t take it anymore”.

“6 months later i needed to take my mind off her.”

“As i heard the deadly sclerosis had taken her liver”

“So i was walking in the rain through Pigalle and came across your shop”

“I was on my way home from the Supermarche it was a routine stop”

“So glad you popped in hon….sorry for your loss”

Then seductively Marie-Claire, her long mane she did toss.

The movie ended ” I’ll give it 8 out of 10 Marie-Claire”

“The performances were great Sylvie but for the ending i don’t care”

Soon these 2 newly found lovers

were getting hot and steamy themselves under the covers

“People think Sylvie that i must be rather kinky cause i work in an

Erotica shop in Pigalle”

“But i’m not really.I just love the female form, you see .and i have to say you’re my kinda gal”

“Looking around your bedroom Marie-Claire.I have to say a quite tasteful decor”

“The prints of Modigliani’s nudes are beautiful.I really adore”

Sylvie and Marie Claire

Travelled everywhere.

From colourful Sanfrancisco to Tokyo to Rome.

But it was Marie-Claire’s Pigalle apartment that to them was home…finis

 

A Break From Poetry (Jokes)

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He thought he was important

in fact he was impotent!!

The submarine making firm went under….

The painting and decorating firm went to the wall.

(O.k the last 2 were xmas cracker standard it gets better)

One man to his wife “Your snoring in bed is driving me mad”

Wife “Well your farting in bed is driving me to drink!”

One man jumps into the Mersey….

Another scouser comes running by and shouts out to him “hey can i have your job!?”

Marriage is not a word it’s a sentence!

Man to his rather simple friend “What’s the difference between an elephant’s ass and a post box?”

“Dunno”. “Well in that case i’d better post this parcel myself”

One man in a dirty raincoat flashed at 2 nuns

One nun had a stroke… the other couldn’t reach!

 

 

Marilu

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Marilu Henner drove  a yellow taxi

through the mean streets of New York city.

Marilu Henner

drove men and women wild with desire….

in the movie Perfect, dancing  provocatively in her leotard.

Just a glimpse of  Marilu  in the 80’s would cheer me up when times were hard.

Marilu Henner….

flame haired stunner.

Marilu Henner drove a taxi

in New York in the 70’s

Angie And Deborah

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Angie and Deborah got together on a veggie meet up.

Soon they were at “Govindas” enjoying mushroom soup.

Afterwards they left Tottenham court rd and boarded the Central line.

To Angie’s trendy Notting hill flat, relaxing with a bottle of wine.

Then they stripped off and made passionate love on the double bed.

Before falling asleep.Next morning Angie brought Deborah breakfast in bed.

A bowl of delicious muesli with a splash of coconut milk.

Deborah looked like a million bucks in Angie’s pyjammas of silk.

Then after

they did shower.

While drying each other Angie turned to Deborah and said “Hon…

why don’t we run a vegetarian café in Wimbledon?”

“I’ve got a whole lot of capitol…

I was a banker after all”

“But it was a boring job.I hated every minute of it”

“And my male colleagues were f****** sexist gits!”

“we’ll call the café Veggie Scene…

SW19”

With Angie’s legendary culinary expertise…

Cooking everything from Swiss to Mexican to Chinese.

And Deborah as quite the stunning waitress.

Getting generous tips,the venture was a huge success.

They were able to take on more staff.For Angie and Deborah a welcome break.

In a hotel room in beautiful Perugia they did wake.

They snogged in a park in the afternoon then dined on spaghetti.

Back home they tied the knot.Showered in Couscous confetti!