Monthly Archives: April 2018

Pimlico Plumbers



Pimlico Plumbers.

Don’t lose their number.

For, miss….

They’re there in a crisis.

Pimlico Plumbers pay their staff really well…..but then….

they should do. for, they are  extremely skilled technicians

Pimlico Plumbers.

Mike, you lost their number.

Check down the side of the sofa

Where you found a fiver…the other day.

Pimlico Plumbers will come rushing to your aid,  so….

And it doesn’t matter if you don’t live in Pimlico.

Pimlico Plumbers….Pimlico Plumbers

A success story courtesy of some Entreprenuer.

May they fix our gas leaks and un block our drains for years to come…

Pimlico Plumbers

Pimlico Plumbers

We Still Have Faith In ABBA



“I still have faith in you”

An ABBA  reunion, long overdue.

They really don’t need the money.

They just want to make our world’s sunny……. again.

After the West end hit “Mamma Mia”.

Benny’s alcoholism, oh dear.

Agnetha became a recluse too.

But ABBA , your fans never gave up on you.

The Artist And His Model


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Be it Modigliani or Gaugin.

Artists have always painted woman.

Or sketched her with no clothes on.

Be it lying on a sofa or straddling a chair.

“I’m sick of doing bowls of fruit! Won’t you model for me Claire”

“O’k i will.I need the cash, you see…

“i have to buy books for Uni”

For several sessions she did pose

in a state of undress.

When he’d finished he gave her a Rose

and his email address.

David’s exhibition

went down a storm at Tate Britain.

As for Claire, she became an overnight star.

Autograph hunters as she filled up her car…

At her local branch of Esso.

Or shopping for groceries in Soho.

Dave and Claire got married, how quaint.

And had 2 teenage boys…one who could paint.

The other played for Leyton Orient.

And that’s no disappointment!

Clare became an art dealer.She and Dave moved to Portugal.

David’s a millionaire now .on the streets of The Algarve he walks tall.

The Land Of The Rising Sun



In the land of the rising sun.

2 Japanese beauties game for a spot of fun.

I had never experienced a threesome before

In a Tokyo hotel .they left me coming back for more.

Then we knocked back  Asahi beer.

And welcomed in the new Year.

A few days later , me and Suzy went to see the Sumos

I checked out of my hotel . At Suzy’s place we shed our clothes.

Next morning she brought me breakfast in a silk kimono.

Then we switched on t.v. some crazy Japanese game show.

Next we took in an Art gallery and a picnic in a Japanese garden.

Followed by  an extremely loud rock concert at the Budokan.

Suzy snogged me next morning on the metro to Ginza.

I stopped to take some photos then shopped for souvenirs.

We watched a J-League game in a bar, later that day.

The sheer beauty of the Buddhist temple we visited blew me away.

Back at Suzy’s place.

I felt her warm embrace.

I caressed her firm breasts then yet another snog.

I looked around her apartment, noticed her robot dog

“It doesn’t need exercise

and dog food’s so dear, so get wise”

“It can even wag it’s tail.”

“I bought it reduced in a sale.”

Friday came and with it,  a trip to Mount Fuji.

Then me and my new found love went for a” smoothie”

That evening classic Japanese cinema.

Then back in Suzy’s lounge she took off her bra.

And i rested my face against her bosom.

Some heavy petting in the bedroom

Saturday and on to a Samurai Warrior museum

Soon it was time for me to go.

A long flight ahead of me to Heathrow.

At the Airport Suzy whispered in my ear.

“I’ll join you in London later this year”

“May be in July. ”

“i have your email.Goodbye”

So i boarded the plane.

and touched down in London in the rain

I was so glad i met Suzy and her friend Yamaha.

One day Suzy surprised me in a Westminster sports bar.

We went back to my place and relaxed with the radio on.

Then made love …….My stunner from the land of the rising sun….

Had returned to be

all alone with me.

In the lounge i had a poster of the Japanese flag.

Suzy took a fiver out of her handbag.

“Let’s get a couple of  beers in Stephen, by the way i adore.”

“what you’ve done to the lounge and the overall decor”

“The small Buddha in the kitchen should bring you good luck”

Then we got naked. Suzy was a good f***




Christianity The Cult



You were brainwashed by a cult.

Tell yourself it’s not your fault…

don’t beat yourself up.

They approached you with a cup…

of  luke warm soup on The Strand.Then they reeled you in.

Come to church on Sunday and absolve yourself from sin


Is a form of  Insanity.

Catholicism too.

To religions that prey on the vulnerable.f*** you!

Valetta Awaits



Take a leisurely stroll down Valletta’s Republic street.

A photo of neptune’s statue and your morning’s complete.

Then soak in the sun outside a cafe.

A few days in Malta.Blow them blues away.

Send a postcard home….wish you were here.

Later, sampling a local beer….

in a vibrant and splendid Sports bar.

A Maltese holiday will take your senses far.

Yes, Valletta awaits.

For Steve to meet Jane there, t’was fate.

When it was time to fly back to Heathrow

With designer suitcases in tow….

Jane cried

Steve just sighed.

For, they both lived in the Eastend ghetto.

But for a few days Malta was their home.

Next year they’re off to Rome.

Yes, Valletta awaits

For Steve to meet Jane there, t’was fate.

All you dreamers out there, Valletta awaits.

For Steve and Jane to meet there, t’was fate.

Now they’re back in E.2 .Quite a culture shock.

A rather grim council flat in a Bethnal green tower block.

But as they gaze at black and white photos…

On a Maltese beach, wearing hardly any clothes.

A smile spread across their faces.

They’ve both been to some amazing places.

But none to compare

with the Maltese sea air.

Valletta awaits, Valletta awaits.

For Steve to meet Jane there, t’was fate.

In the Eastend they nearly did suffocate….

Then Steve made it big in the Art world and they did relocate….

to Valletta

In sunny Malta.

Valletta awaits, Valletta awaits.

For many more couples, to meet there, is fate.

Valletta awaits….

When The Fascists Ran Shadwell



Oswald Mosley’s “Blackshirts” controlled the backstreets of Shadwell.

Many a good man fought the fascists there, many a good man fell.

Now all that remains of the battle.

Is  a mural on a red brick wall.

The rest of this sad tale in London’s history.

Is consigned to some Eastend library.

For generations to come….

to read about and leave, feeling numb.

In the cold light of day….

totally evil, was Oswald Mosley.

The fascists have long since vacated Shadwell’s streets.

Now it dances to a Bengali beat.

When the fascists ran Shadwell.

When the fascists ran Shadwell….