Monthly Archives: July 2016

Welcome To The Eastend!!!!!!!


tower hamlets

Dave got beat up by a “Loan Shark” and burgled on the “Ocean Estate”

One day he was queer bashed returning home from the pub late

He was mugged at the bus stop.They stole his mobile.What a crisis

So he phoned his mom in Suffolk from a phone box that stunk of piss

“Mom, i’m feeling really down”

“Wanna return to my home town”

“I really hate this Eastend”

“Son, have you made a friend?”

“No!” “O.K i left your bedroom as it was you can be sure”

“You’re willing to swap city life for the stench of horse manure”

“Yes, mom i’m getting the 5 p.m train”

On the way there some Nazi spat at him in the rain

“Oi! Poof from the village! I’ll bet you’re the only gay there!”

The skinhead’s mate Kevin ponced a fiver for beer

So Dave was £3.50 short of the train fare

A nurse gave him a tenner. At last someone who did care

Films You Love To Hate


maid in manhattenblended

Hollywood s***! “Maid In Manhatten”

Or the truly awful “Maggie’s Plan”

When Hollywood does romantic comedy

You have to ask where’s the comedy?

A year of Hollywood rom coms sounds like a nightmare

For “Sleepless In Seattle” or “You’ve Got Mail” i really do not care

A year of Hollywood romcoms with absolutely no laughs

Silly story lines , perfect couples, love leading them down the right paths

For the next instalment i just can’t wait!!!

Hollywood romcoms….Films you love to hate

Brixton Boy (Part 1)


john major cricketjohn major peas. norma

Back to basics with John Major

Who ran away from the circus to join the bank

“More peas, Norma”, bus conductor

We have “Spitting Image” to thank

for immortalizing John

At after dinner speeches he waffles on

But that’s how he makes his money these days

And the odd round of golf he plays…

John Major

The Golden Age Of Pop


afro 70'srock guitarist

“The Golden Age ” of pop music

“Lady Grinning Soul” majestic

“Fernando”, “S.O.S”, “Take A Chance On Me”

” Samba Pa Ti”, “Y.M.C.A”, “In The Navy”

“Black Night”, “Smoke On The Water”,”Wishing Well”

“Beautiful Noise”, “Brass In Pocket”, “Bat Out Of Hell”

“Hotel California”,”Elected”, “I’m 18”

“Love Is In The Air” “”Boogie Wonderland” such a great scene

John Lennon must have had  a heavy session with Yoko smoking pot

For he stated there wasn’t a decent record in the 70’s, i kid you not



Passing Ads


mr.beanmoney supermarketsmash

“Only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate…tastes like chocolate never tasted before”

Smash! Powdered crap but those Martians who raved about it we simply adore

The Adverts of my childhood

Were really rather damn good

The world of Advertising has moved on and yet

I cant say i’m overenamoured with Money Supermarket

Be it the fat guy with the beard

Or the yuppy who’s just wierd

As for the fat opera singer “Go Compare”

Much prefer the bog roll grizzly bear…

Mr.Bean  Metamorphosing

To ads that make your heart sing

Like the Amazon pony

Starring Cher not some phoney….







The Port Of Marseille


marseille streetsport of marseille

The port of Marseille, inviting

Support for Marseille….igniting Le Velodrome

How lucky you are to call the south of France home

And i do adore “Gay Paris”

But it’s nice to be by the shore, sunny

An old lady asks you in for cheese and wine

Her granddaughter Sophie, just 20 will show you a good time

On the streets at night when she’s finished selling flowers

London to Marseille, Eurostar in less than 8 hours

Then on the streets you’ll be humming “La Marseillaise”

And vowing to return one of these days

Sooner rather than later mon amie

Marseille, where the city embraces the sea

Tragedy On The Cote D’Azur++(Thursday 14th July 2016)


museum massenamusee-matisse-nice

Firework display well under way in sunny Nice

Lorry driver mows down 84, Shot by police

How dare evil come to this town

And now the citizens will be feeling down

If i ever find myself in Nice again

It won’t feel the same, people’s faces etched in pain

But Nice, like Hungerford, must recover

and learn to once again embrace visitors

It’s an old saying, but life goes on

Long after the t.v crews have come and gone

Esther From Bilbao

Generated by  IJG JPEG Library

Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Esther so proud of being Basque

I’d love to see you in one

Or a black corset undone

They say the most beautiful people are librans

With a few possible exceptions

Esther: so well you spoke my mother’s tongue

Esther, the right side of 50, you are still young

Esther, a few years have elapsed now

Since i last encountered you, are you back in Bilbao?

Esther will i ever see you again?

This world is a big place

But i’ll always have the memory of your face

And your body as well

Esther you are swell….

Esther if you find yourself in a cafe alone

And you come across this tribute in verse on your “Smart” phone

I hope it makes your day

Cause you brought sunshine my way



Swimming With Sharks


shark swimrun over

Be it swimming with sharks

or wrestling with a crocodile

Climbing the “Old Man Of Hoy”

with an element of style

Tight rope walking across Niagra falls

Man’s life has many dangers and pitfalls

But the most dangerous thing he does and he does it every day

Crossing the road….How many have perished that way?