Monthly Archives: July 2016

Welcome To The Eastend!!!!!!!


tower hamlets

Dave got beat up by a “Loan Shark” and burgled on the “Ocean Estate”

One day he was queer bashed returning home from the pub late

He was mugged at the bus stop.They stole his mobile.What a crisis

So he phoned his mom in Suffolk from a phone box that stunk of piss

“Mom, i’m feeling really down”

“Wanna return to my home town”

“I really hate this Eastend”

“Son, have you made a friend?”

“No!” “O.K i left your bedroom as it was you can be sure”

“You’re willing to swap city life for the stench of horse manure”

“Yes, mom i’m getting the 5 p.m train”

On the way there some Nazi spat at him in the rain

“Oi! Poof from the village! I’ll bet you’re the only gay there!”

The skinhead’s mate Kevin ponced a fiver for beer

So Dave was £3.50 short of the train fare

A nurse gave him a tenner. At last someone who did care


Films You Love To Hate


maid in manhattenblended

Hollywood s***! “Maid In Manhatten”

Or the truly awful “Maggie’s Plan”

When Hollywood does romantic comedy

You have to ask where’s the comedy?

A year of Hollywood rom coms sounds like a nightmare

For “Sleepless In Seattle” or “You’ve Got Mail” i really do not care

A year of Hollywood romcoms with absolutely no laughs

Silly story lines , perfect couples, love leading them down the right paths

For the next instalment i just can’t wait!!!

Hollywood romcoms….Films you love to hate

Brixton Boy (Part 1)


john major cricketjohn major peas. norma

Back to basics with John Major

Who ran away from the circus to join the bank

“More peas, Norma”, bus conductor

We have “Spitting Image” to thank

for immortalizing John

At after dinner speeches he waffles on

But that’s how he makes his money these days

And the odd round of golf he plays…

John Major

The Golden Age Of Pop


afro 70'srock guitarist

“The Golden Age ” of pop music

“Lady Grinning Soul” majestic

“Fernando”, “S.O.S”, “Take A Chance On Me”

” Samba Pa Ti”, “Y.M.C.A”, “In The Navy”

“Black Night”, “Smoke On The Water”,”Wishing Well”

“Beautiful Noise”, “Brass In Pocket”, “Bat Out Of Hell”

“Hotel California”,”Elected”, “I’m 18”

“Love Is In The Air” “”Boogie Wonderland” such a great scene

John Lennon must have had  a heavy session with Yoko smoking pot

For he stated there wasn’t a decent record in the 70’s, i kid you not



Get A Life! Says Steve ++(Sarcastic B******)



Be a couch potato, watch s*** t.v

Update your facebook account maybe

Staying in is the new going out

Get a life! I am tempted to shout

But then i am a piss taker

And prone to a night in too

Although a bit more dynamic than you

For i do open mic in Speaker’s corner and Covent garden

And converse with mademoiselles in Paris and South Kensington

I do scoff pizza while  listrening to Bruce Springstee vinyl

But i won’t allow myself to vegetate and that’s final


Passing Ads


mr.beanmoney supermarketsmash

“Only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate…tastes like chocolate never tasted before”

Smash! Powdered crap but those Martians who raved about it we simply adore

The Adverts of my childhood

Were really rather damn good

The world of Advertising has moved on and yet

I cant say i’m overenamoured with Money Supermarket

Be it the fat guy with the beard

Or the yuppy who’s just wierd

As for the fat opera singer “Go Compare”

Much prefer the bog roll grizzly bear…

Mr.Bean  Metamorphosing

To ads that make your heart sing

Like the Amazon pony

Starring Cher not some phoney….