Tag Archives: soccer

The Worst Football Team Ever

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Pilkington Rovers knocked out of the cup again
They lost to Somerset Athletic, 46-0 in the rain!
and they’re bottom of the lowest league in English football
You wouldn’t think it possible for a team to be this awful
The facilities at their ground are an absolute disgrace
10 minutes gone into their next home match and the goalie’s got egg on his face
A back pass from Tommy Jones at centre half
The goalie Tim Smith’s attempt to deal with it brought out a laugh…on the opposition bench
So Pilkington Rovers find themselves 1-0 down
John Wilkins, the left back, makes a hash of a clearance, what a clown!
The ball loops up into the air
smacks the right back in the face
The coach can only stand and stare
as chaos breaks out all over the place.

By half time it’s 13-0 to Taunton borough – doom and gloom
The half time oranges for the 11 lemons in the changing room
The half time team talk doesn’t seem to have done any good at all
Taunton hit one in from a free kick, right through the wall
Before too long, Taunton have added another 3
While Pilkington’s striker Bill Smith missed a penalty
Then the left winger Rob Wilson misses from 5 yards
Watching this shit every other Saturday, it’s not hard…
to see why Pilkington Rovers’ only fan and his dog have departed…
20 minutes from the end. At the final whistle the inquest has started
The manager is left by the touchline pulling his hair out
“31-Nil! I’ll be sacked without a shadow of a doubt!”
This, for Pilkington Rovers, was hardly their finest hour
and a burst pipe in the changing room so none of them can shower!

The Half-Time Cuppa

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Copyright to zimbio.com

Half time. It’s England 2 Kazakhstan nil
winning the World Cup qualifier with sheer skill
A piping hot cup of tea in his thermos flask
A 3-nil win to top the group, is the second half task

The Day We Were Gr-Eight (Sunday, 28th August 2011)

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Photo from WayneRooneyOnline.com

Man. U beat Arsenal 8-2
Van Persie missed a penalty too
Rooney scored a sensational hat trick
The 3rd a pen, the first 2 free kicks
Nani chipped their goalie
Ji-Sung Park added to the scorin’ spree
Howard Webb was the referee
Ashley Young scored 2 delightful goals
As a rampant Man. U exposed huge holes…in Arsenal’s defence
The significance of this result not lost on the watchin’ football world
As the ruthless Man. U put the Gunners to the sword
And Danny Welbeck started the rout with a header
To think, after 3-0 against Spurs, things got even better
Arsene Wenger’s private hell
The Gunners had a player sent off as well
How priviliged I am
to be a Man. U fan