Tag Archives: lottery

The Glory of Rembrandt


Copyright to cam111.com

He’d stare at  Rembrandt masterpieces
for hours and hours in galleries
He’d watch television in his bedroom and read newspapers in libraries
But the only thing that made sense to him were the Rembrandts in the galleries
None of his numerous women
could keep pace with his Rembrandt obsession
So the single game, he did play
But he preferred it that way.

He wished he could paint like those old Dutch masters
Rembrandt, Van Ruisdael, Albert Cuyp, Vermeer
of them he was so very fond
One day he travelled to Holland
He was in his element
starin’ at all those Rembrandts
and all the others in the gallery
in the land of tulips and windmills he felt so free
and when he returned to England
He got a job as curator of a top museum
and in this gallery in England
so many portraits of Rembrandt, you’ve just got to see ’em
He had Rembrandts images etched onto his soul
And though the hours were long, he enjoyed the job as a whole
He never grew tired looking at or talking about his favourite artist
He could even reel off names of his classic works in bars, when he was pissed!

For he lived and he breathed fine art
and for him, Rembrandt was the best place to start
One day after work, he went out and bought a Euro Lottery ticket
The  Jackpot was 140 million, he didn’t expect to win it
But the dream became reality
and he found himself at “Christies”
He walked off with an original Rembrandt painting…30 million
A smile appeared on his face. He thought he had a bargain
He put the painting in the lounge of his new house near “TATE Britain”
He slept downstairs, so he could wake up to it again and again.

Some men love their wives, some men love a Cadillac
Some men love a football team, he loved his Rembrandt
He’d show it off to his friends
His happiness knew no end
For he’d got what he’d always wanted
and how many of us can say that…

Where’s It All Gone Wrong?


Photo from Filmapia.com

From the ascent of man
To the “Coca Cola” can
But have we really come that far?
From Ferrari and Jaguar
Or Eva in her Wonderbra
Yes, have we really come that far?
Caveman, he invented the wheel
and it’s been downhill since then
Little did he know when he discovered fire
it would lead to arson
Life, it would seem, was less chaotic then
Another hijacked plane on “The News At Ten”
The wanton destruction
of the Amazon
Population explosion
What’s the government’s solution?
To build more tower blocks!
Prisoners in our own homes
We only feel safe with CCTV
and sturdy locks.

Caveman’s lifespan was short
but he didn’t want for anything
Now we do the lottery
so we can live like a king.

Our kids glued to computer screens
In the confinement of their bedrooms
We feel we have progressed
‘Cause we sent a rocket to the moon
But with our ever increasing nuclear stockpile
the end could be soon
Or with the melting of the polar ice caps
We’ll all be swept away in a tidal wave
This impending disaster, avoidable perhaps
If we’d settled for our simple life in mudhuts and caves!

Copyright 2011 – Stephen Jensen