Ulrika And Cassandra



Ulrika  was a stunning Swedish blonde

Of her Cassandra was rather fond

They met

Via the internet

Both based in London….they were

Fans of World cinema

Snogging in the back row

Of The Curzon Soho

Then after get the Piccadilly line to Russel square

Soon they’d be in Cassandra’s Bloomsbury flat down to their underwear

Eating pizza

On the sofa

Falling asleep to Jazz f.m

Cassandra’s pug would wake both of them

By affectionately licking their face

Then the 2 girls would make love in every room in the place.

Then get dressed and hit the town

Go shopping in John Lewis for suitcases and dressing gowns

A modelling assignment for Ulrika the next day

Cassandra booked on a flight to L.A

A freelance travel writer was she

Cursing the fact her and Ulrika were so busy

And often in different time zones

Still they could always chat on their mobile phones

Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder

Soon they were back home watching “A Fish Called Wanda”……

And dreaming of marriage plans

While investing in a caravan

Ulrika and Cassandra glued to the B.B.C

Classic reruns of “Tipping The Velvet” you see

With big bucket of microwave popcorn at the ready

Ulrika and Cassandra got married in June

And with their new caravan were “over the moon”…………







Carey Grant Came From The South West



Carey Grant star of “North by Northwest”

Hailed from “Cider country”…the south west

His real name was Archibald Leach .Well i never!

Carey Grant’s links to the southwest he couldn’t sever

Carey Grant put Bristol on the map

Before it was undoubtedly crap

Carey Grant : Hollywood star who always impressed

Came from humble beginnings .England’s southwest

Steven And John



Steven and John were cool dudes.They got high on “Spacecake” in Amsterdam

And armed with a “Nikon” went trekking in Vietnam

Steven and John were the 2 most hippest guys you could hope to meet

They sailed into Bilbao to watch Athletic and Real Madrid compete

Then afterwards hit the liveliest bars in the street

Steven and John: mates since school

Steven and John: Oh so cool!

Born in the year of the monkey

Steven and John rather funky!

They had every Rock, Jazz and Disco vinyl l.p

In a bachelor pad in trendy Bloomsbury

Their regular friday night routine

The Renoir and Hare and Tortoise.Dig that scene

Steven and John college drop outs

They know what style is all about

Steven sold art on a market stall

John, a published writer, they had it all

Steven and John crashed a car into a ditch in France

And were rescued by a hot brunette as if by chance

With her own tow truck

And an apartment near by.What luck!

Steven and John, they don’t follow rules

Steven and John can’t help being this cool

Steven and John

Claire And Deborah




Claire was a truck driver

She parked her rig outside a gay bar

A few miles from leafy Ottawa

She caught the eye of  Deborah

A young voluptuous waitress

With her stunning physique, Claire did impress

Claire gave Deborah an extremely generous tip

Soon they were in Deborah’s bedroom and ready to strip

They showered together

Building up quite a lather

Then passionate love making on a tired old mattress

’til early morning .Then they had to quickly get dressed

For, Claire had a long journey ahead of her

And Deborah had to put in another shift in the bar

But soon they were reunited

Hot, sweaty and excited

More fun in the shower

Then a picnic near a lake

Deborah photographed a beaver

The 2 of them finished off the cheesecake

Deborah knocked back  the rootbeer

“It’s fun being queer!” Claire announced

All of a sudden Deborah pounced

Claire loved being dominated make no mistake

Soon the 2 of them were swimming naked in the lake

Back at Deborah’s place they relaxed on the bed

Claire whilst drying Deborah’s wet hair said

“Let’s get married in the summer”

“I’ll give up driving rigs .It’s a bummer”

Deborah smiled and said “Your call”

And so they were married near Niagra falls


We Live In Dangerous Times




What’s going on in The North China sea

Could cause mass panic and anxiety

The situation in Sudan, the chaos in Syria

Is it scaremongering or is indeed the end of the world nearer

Those who control the media

Would like to stimulate Paranoia

Anything that sells newspapers

However the state of the world does seem to have changed somewhat since i was a boy

In so many countries they don’t even experience the freedom’s that we enjoy…..In the west

Torture, mass murder and persecution seem to be the order of the day

The Killing fields of Cambodia, Ceaucescu, Bosnia, Guantanomo bay

Destruction of human life everywhere

Despots like Idi Amin’s ice cold stare

And that North Korean bloke

He’s a f****** sick joke!

We live in dangerous times my friend

Join forces and march for peace or it could be the end

We live in Dangerous times