Monthly Archives: December 2018

A Break From Poetry (Jokes!)

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How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?

45. 1 to change the light bulb. The other 44 to do the paperwork!

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

3. 1 to change the light bulb the other 2 to shout “Objection!”

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

They all sit around and discuss whether they should be left in the dark or not.

How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Well….the light bulb’s gotta want to change.

How many Safety Inspectors does it take to change a light bulb?

4. 1 to change the light bulb, the other 3 to hold the ladder

Samantha And Jane

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Let me tell you a story about Samantha and Jane.

The latter, an activist, she went to great pains….

Designing an anti-Royal placard.

Meanwhile outside, a transport pig thought he was hard.

As the left wingers entered Baker st.

Bound for the Jubilee line , they beat  a hasty retreat.

P.c Scum was busy flexing his muscles….

He shouted at his mate” let’s give these lefties  hassle”

So P.C  Scum

and his colleagues laid into ’em.

The Transport Pigs are  a disgrace.

Jane, she spat in one copper’s face!

Her Spanish friend Bernard….

kicked one pig in the shins really hard.

The judge let them off with a warning…Jane headed straight for her Westminster flat.

The one she shared with her well off lover Samantha.2 teeth on her carpet, she spat.

“Jane i love you for your Marxist beliefs”

“Let me wipe your bloodied cheek with my handkerchief”

Then she poured her a mug of hot Cocoa.

And ran her hand across Jane’s left breast.”Sam you’re getting me excited, so.”

“Some honest lovin’ Jane….

will help ease your pain.”

So they stripped off and headed for the bedroom.

Next morning they woke to “Daffy Duck cartoons”

“When did you buy the portable t.v Sam?”

“Last week on special offer at Notting Hill ,Oxfam”

They laughed out loud.

Out the window they saw  a crowd.

A demo against Trident.

Headed for the Houses of Parliament.

“Sam let’s join in!”.”O.k Hon….

You really are a radical one”.

So they got dressed and off they went…

To take on the Government.

Jane and Samantha….

2  lesbo lovers…in unison.

Fighting the good fight.

Then go down on each other in the shower at night.

Jane and Samantha.

Jane and Samantha…..

 

 

The Wicked Monarch

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Richard 111 had a hunchback and was thoroughly evil too.

The Queen paid tribute to him, well Lizzie that says a lot about you.

History is littered with scum, from Hitler to Thatcher….

to Henry V111 to Queen Victoria.

We can learn from history a  great deal.

The royals are rotten to the core. This i can reveal.

Richard 111 was the most wicked of the lot.

A child killer was he, mad lizzie, that, have you forgot.

Richard 111 had  an unsightly hunchback.

For losing the War of the Roses he took some flak.

When he died they should have just dumped his carcass …..

into a ditch so some dog could piss on it, or even better, a furnace.

Richard 111

History has the last word.

Blow an extremely loud raspberry….

to your very memory….

Richard 111

A nasty little turd…were you….

The Muppets Rule!

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You might as well reach out to Fozzie Bear….

If you entertain Philip Hammond, i swear.

The Muppets rule.

Laws created by fools.

They worm their way into our homes through our t.v sets.

This world of ours is run by a bunch of demented puppets!

The Muppets rule.

It’s so uncool.

The Muppets rule.