You’re Not From Round Here, Luv



Zax the Martian’s spaceship crashlanded on Earth

On a council tip in Bolton for what it’s worth

Dazed and confused he staggered down the street

A friendly old couple with their dog Fido, he did meet

“Hello, chuck, you’re not from round here”

“Won’t you join us in The Dog And Duck for a beer”

“I know a mechanic.He can get your space ship fixed in no time at all”

“After a game of darts that is, with the local area champion Paul”

“You’ll find we’re a friendly lot in Bolton”

“Here lad with the strange name, it’s your turn”

“By eck! Double top  first dart, that’s reet grand!”

A bullseye and treble 15 with the remaining arrows in his hand

“135 your go next Paul, lad”

“Another century….not half bad”

“Zax next….180. Looks like the trophy might be going to you”

Meanwhile some lads walk in happy from The Reebok having won at home to Crewe

Jim who went to the game

Approaches Zax and asks him his name

“See you’re pretty useful with the arrows lad”

“‘Though the opposition ‘aint half bad”

“100 pretty damn good score”

“Not seen you round these parts before”

“Can i get you a pint of ale Zax”

“I’ll take that nod as a yes, shall i”

“You seem to be the quiet type”

“Just missed the treble 20 Paul, good try”

And so it was that Zax won the area darts trophy

And left Lancashire, Mars bound at a quarter past 3

With a belly full of ale and chips wrapped in The Daily Mirror

As his spaceship jettisoned off he cut an extremely happy figure…..The End



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