Regina Fong Hasn’t Got A Bad Word To Say About Anyone



Regina Fong

Is on song

Raising the rafters

In West Sussex raucus laughter

101 bad hair days

But hey! bitchiness is no longer  the craze

Like the Rubik cube or the skateboard

It’s so  naff just leaves her feeling bored

No one wants superficial drag acts anymore

Lily savage, Robbie savage the latter bitter cause Man.U showed him the door

I’d make make a good critic me

Not a bitchy cow just brutal honesty

Blokes aren’t two faced

Lily no longer a disgrace

Lily savage came out of retirement to join Regina on stage

She now goes under the psuedonym”Sugar sweet” warbling songs from “Bird cage”

A reformed bitchy drag act duo now doing charitable work together

“Wasn’t Bowie’s “Queen Bitch” the worst track on “Hunky Dory”… play it hardly ever”

“Prefer Kooks, Fill your Heart or Song for Bob Dylan a rendition of the latter

“Everyone won’t you please join in”

“We can’t be the only two here making  a din”

Regina Fong another Lennon tribute song….

“Whatever gets you through the night”” Yet another pointless handbag fight in some seedy rip off Gay Ghetto dive”

” Streets of hove half empty The seagulls playing away, pouring rain, leaking roof….Still Gloria’s here with free beer….I will surviveeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Make some noise girls and boys put your hands together it’s help the homeless week”

“Here’s a real belter ..The Stones Gimme Shelter remember we’re helping stray dogs too…. a future less bleak”

“The name’s Regina Fong Elton’s here with “Your song”………… have any of you lovely ladies got a set of curling tongs”

“Bring out the jigsaws Clive and the gin a party of senior citizens just bussed in”

“So nice of you to join us” “No one wants to hear the Bitch is Back do they?”

“Or Saturday night’s alright for fighting NO! Nikita gets a lot more airplay”

“Then Daniel followed by Honey Honey and to finish off Dancing Queen”

“We raised 10 grand for diabetic muslims tonight what a happy scene”

“You’ve all been stars get home safely tonight”

“Elton thanks luv so glad i didn’t suffer stage fright”

“You Were a  Super Trooper a real tonic”

“Such stamina how do you do it your lungs must be bionic”

Then Regina headed for the Dressing room

Sank in her chair “Where did Gay entertainment go wrong in the 80’s?”

“I blame Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher for all that bitchiness and sleaze”

Suddenly a brick is thrown through the bar exit door window

“What’s that bloody racket better go and see ….oh no!”

“It’s those mother f***** jamaicans from the council estate again”

“A message tied to this one DEATH TO FAGS” “Those scum will drive me insane!!”

“Those old fogeys have spilt soup all over the floor”

“Where’s the mop and bucket? Bust a heel oh f***it!”

“Might as well open the f****** mail….Don’t believe it the gas is being cut off”

She hobbles slowly towards the rear of the club bangs on the gents door Elton Shouts f*** off”

“No need to take that attitude you fat tired old has been you’v e been in their 10 minutes are you w****** off!”

“I suppose you’ll want a vodka chaser …..tough we’re fresh out Reg chuck!”

Elton emerges she barges him out the way Watford lost to Chelsea not that i give a flying f***!”

“I knew the mop and bucket was in here”

“Well don’t just stand there gawping bring me a beer”

“S*** the mop heads fallen off “Made in Taiwan” should have known”

5 minutes later she’s sat at the counter “my toe nails overgrown”

“That’s all i need 4 hours in the local n.h.f****** s no doubt

“S’pose you want your f***** pay check”” over paid prima donna you are”

“It was The Who with Pinball Wizard in the 70’s that made you a f****** star!”

“Oh well better read last nights reviews”

“Everyone ‘s a critic just print a load of abuse”

“I’m surprised this p******hack can write his own name!”


“Well you wanted us to be nice to minorities”

“And this all the thanks we get” “In the old days we’d have made a packet”

“Tone down the bitchiness a notch or 3!!!!!”

“Or you won’t make it on the watershed believe me”

“oh for the days when you could call homeless gatecrashers Wurzel”

Could do with a decent police force round here but it’s a lIb dem council ..>.get real!”


Elton puts his sailors cap shades and jacket on and heads for the exit

“I suppose you’ll be staying at that 5 star hotel down the road you posh git”

“Then no doubt flying home in  your helicopter tomorrow”

“To sunny nice well say hello to that old slag with the dogs Bardot”

2 weeks later the Pink Flamingo closes down for good

Regina and her stoodges on the dole living off ASDA treacle pud

In Politically correct Britain no more bitchy drag queen clubs in safe districts Absurd!!!!

Just horrible locations and a nasty critic can finish you ,,,The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword


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