Monthly Archives: October 2014

Modern Day Viking


modern day viking
I’m a modern day viking
If that’s at all to your liking
I came to England by plane, not longboat
I ride around on the back of a milkfloat
Listening to ABBA on my walkman
And raving about Henrik Larsson
I was kicked out of my swedish village
For refusing to rape, murder and pillage
I’ve got hidden depths and charms
I wash under my arms
I lost my fiery temper years ago
With a flowery shirt it doesn’t quite go……..I’m a modern day viking

Everybody Wants To Rule The World


belgium in the congo
Ghengis Khan and Attila The Hun
Many battles they fought and won
Later on there was Julius Caesar
And his great Roman empire
Wanted to set the world on fire

And what about the Egyptians
And what about the Spanish
The marauding vikings
And if Napolean had had his wish

Everybody wants to rule the world it seems
Realize their crazed ambition.Destroy dreams
Everybody wants to rule the world

There’s also been Hitler and his aryan super race
But he was beaten too.Ended up with egg on his face
No place to run or hide
And comitted suicide
In recent times, Gadaffi and Sadam Hussein
You’ll never convince me that both these men were sane
Islamic fundamentalists putting bombs on planes
When will war cease to exist? And after what remains

Everybody’s out for glory
Write their name in history
Everybody wants to rule the world

Pol Pot, Milosevic, Stalin, Amin, Franco
And the Belgians went into the Congo
The English ruled India with an iron fist
Ruling by force, the human race can’t resist

Everybody wants to rule the world……..Except maybe Luxembourg (They’re happy with their lot)

The-A Bag Of Chocolate Mice-Poem


He’d rather have a pair of rhesus monkeys
than live like a junkie
than live like a junkie
He’d rather have a bag of chocolate mice
than suffer bad advice
than suffer bad advice
He’d rather live in a caravan in Ireland
miles from any boy band
miles from any boy band
And in his caravan near Galway, so funky
Where he lives with his pair of rhesus monkey’s
Who’ve scoffed all of the chocolate mice
But to him, this is paradise
Yes, to him it is paradise
And the monkeys get plenty of exercise
roaming the countryside
And in the local village shop
Where they keep well stocked up
on chocolate mice

Both Sides Of Hadrian’s Wall


Scottish independence always was a bit of a joke
And Alex Salmond is a really nasty bloke!
In the end common sense did prevail
The nae’s won the day.The aye’s did fail
The pro independence lot, they bared their teeth, then showed their grief
The economists in London breathed a collective sigh of relief
As for the aye’s, they just wanted to rock the boat
We’d have never heard the last of it if they’d won the vote
A grinning Alex Salmond not wasting the opportunity to gloat
Meanwhile in Bethnal green, the pizza guy rejects a scottish ten pound note!

The Girl From Trondheim


the girl from trondheim
Your Fashion sense blew me away
And your kisses are like lemon sorbet (so sweet)
Your smile opens doors
And you’re great on the dance floor
I can’t get you out of my head
And i want you in my bed!
You’re the sexiest girl i know
I’d love to wrestle with you in the snow!
I couldn’t wish for more
We have quite a rapport
I love your eyes
I love your thighs
I love you in satin
I love what’s happenin’….to me
You’re a girl shrouded in mystery
You are the girl in my fantasy
every single day
Your style blows me away
We can be oh so cool
And break all the rules
Your politics are so attractive
And you never take more than you give
We make quite a couple
You, the stunner, me, the rebel
You’re colourful, like a rainbow
And you really made my world glow!
Your kisses are like lemon sorbet
So sweet, won’t you come round and stay
I adore you
And you love me
Making love to you
Is so darn easy
I love you in velvet
I love you in lace
You really are fit
And we do it all over the place
Snoggin’ in the late afternoon
Snoggin’ after watching “Road runner” cartoons
Girl from Trondheim, Girl from Trondheim
You came into my life at just the right time
We could snog near a mountain
Or we could snog in a fountain
I love you Trondheim girl
You’ve got my head in a whirl
Your sheer beauty blows me away
And your kisses are like lemon sorbet….