Surreal Poem (Part One)

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cowboy

I’d like to be thrown by a bull in a rodeo
Or go back to ol’ England and visit a freak show!
I’d like to meet up with knights so bald
That’s why they wore helmets, I’m told
Fighting fire breathing dragons
at feminist conventions!
I’d like to turn blue in the freezing cold
I’d like to be still chasing skirt when I’m old
I’d like to be a cowboy in The Wild West
Chasing Red Indians, it’s what they do best
Not some cowboy plumber with tattoos and man breasts
I’d like to be a maniac. I’d like to be obsessed
I’d like to be a fly on the wall
listening in on government secrets in Whitehall
Or stay in a “Trusthouse Forte” on the middle east roadmap
Watch a Spanish league game that’s absolutely crap!
I’d like to be a fire eater or a circus clown
Or some drunken lunatic chased out of town!
Not being cruel or even unkind
But as long as it’s a Welsh town, I really wouldn’t mind
I’d like to be a bandit robbing a stagecoach
I’d like to be a sewer rat or a cockroach
Get some crummy hotel or hospital as well
Closed down for good. That would be just swell
I’d like to dine Haute Cuisine in a “Greasy Spoon”
Or run over “Mickey Mouse” in a car–toon
I’d like to take a black and white photograph
Of The Loch Ness Monster in Dagenham, for a laugh
Finally, I’d like to tap dance and fall in the sink!
Go to Hull city centre and film the missing link!

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